Poly Weekly 259: Mo and the Magic Banana

Mollena Williams, monogamous-identified kinktastic chick, talks about entering a poly BDSM arrangement

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

Interview: Mollena Williams, the Perverted Negress

  • Are you poly-identified? Why or why not?
  • How did an emotionally monogamous person gel with entering a poly BDSM, cross-country arrangement?
  • Why is this banana magic?
  • The importance of metamours
  • Visit Mo and her mojo at her site

    Wrap-up
    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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    Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

    Poly Weekly 258: The online kinkster

    Princess Kali of The Kink Academy talks about the intersection of kink and poly online

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    Introduction and host chat

    Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

    Announcements

    Miss Poly Manners: Dealing with Party Invites

    How do you deal with party invitations not addressed to the entire poly enclave?

    Interview: Princess Kali of The Kink Academy

    Teaser

    • From Poly and Single: what to do when the couple is fighting

    Wrap-up
    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

    Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

    Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

    Lessons learned at ShibariCon

    This year, ShibariCon was a fantastically exhausting experience! I almost didn’t go–too much work to do, and too many mundane tasks relating to some real estate I still own in the area. Grudgingly, I admitted that OK, I’ve committed to volunteer; of course I’ll go. But I won’t have fun.

    And when I arrived, something changed. All the alienation I’d been feeling due to Seattle’s famous chilly reception melted away. It melted in the warm hugs of friends I was genuinely happy to see and who were genuinely happy to see me. For the first time in over a year, I felt like I belonged in the scene. Doubts, fears and insecurities melted away in the face of catching up with old friends and making new ones. I became the classic Minx, happy, bouncy and ready to have some fun.

    I don’t want to be all cheesy and tell you not to be afraid of going to a conference alone. It still sucks to do that, and it’s still hard to try to connect with people in a weekend setting when you’re flying solo. You’ll still get turned down or blown off for scenes; I know I did and was. But my experience ended up being so deliciously positive that I want to share that joy, just in case it might inspire bravery the next time you fly solo at an event.

    Stuff I Learned at ShibariCon 2010

    • I do belong here. The only one thinking otherwise was me.
    • When I am my own best self, wonderful things happen. And when I feel at home and welcomed, I am my own best self. Self-doubt is what kills the confidence, and without confidence, nothing is fun.
    • Scheduling at a con is hard/tricky. Cut yourself and your play partners some slack.
    • Don’t take it personally. Instead, find a way to take care of yourself that involves sharing your pain (and joy) with others.
    • Hide your crazy. But let little bits show in fits of controlled vulnerability. A controlled burn, if you will. :-)
    • Never compare yourself to others in any way. Instead, focus on what is making today awesome for you. If you close your eyes and feel a lack of awesome, put your finger on why, and then go ask for that.
    • Geek negotiation tip: if you’re unsure of where to start but you know you want to play, instead of asking a person for a scene or play, ask trusted friends whom they would recommend for play who might be free tonight.
    • Give your cell phone # to hot guys/girls so they can text you. (Outside the con space, of course)
    • Love yourself. Love your kink. Be fascinated by others’ kink.

    All of this has me thinking about teaching a ShibariCon for Newbies/Solos class next year, with specific activities designed to help people check their emotional baggage at the door and have the confidence to have fun. Wouldn’t that be a GREAT way to start a con?

    Poly Weekly 230: Poly and Kink

    Download the mp3 directly

    Introduction and host chat

    Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

    Cohosts

    Franklin Veaux
    Pepper Mint

    Announcements

    Topic: how do poly and kink mix?
    Sarah wrote in to ask how the egalitarian poly aspect mixes with more ostensibly hierarchical BDSM and its focus on power exchange. Such a nice, juicy topic!

    Feedback
    Annie shares definitions of polyamory, philosophically poly and practicing polyamorous; Mus Q Rat writes in to correct origin story of “polyamory” (vs. “polyamorous”); Arioch compliments episode 226 on finding a partner

    Wrap-up

    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

    Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

    Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

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