DVD Review: Big Gulps 2

Big Gulps 2This and other DVDs are available at AdamandEve.com. Use coupon code Minx for 50% off just about any item!

Big Gulps 2 was our more traditional selection for Brownies and Porn last weekend, and it universally got the “fail” rating. General consensus: unless you’re really, really, really, really into nothing but POV blow jobs with no real money shots, you’ll probably find this lame and boring.

In my opinion, if something is called “Big Gulps,” there should be some gulping going on. Most of the come shots didn’t even have any come, or at best just a dribble. What, did they shoot this after all the real porn orgy scenes were done for the day with the dregs that were left over? Sheesh! Show me the money!

Universally, the room of about 10 people all hated when the girls looked at the camera and when they spit on the cock. Why, oh, why do these conventions persist?

A few things we did like:

  • The man in the second clip (with Marquetta) was a bit more controlling; he’d slap the back of her head and force her to gag on his cock a bit. The audience was divided on the choking sounds (some liked, some didn’t), but we all liked his taking charge, giving the scene a bit more of a power dynamic.
  • Vanilla Sky in the fourth clip. She came across as a real girl, not yet bleached blond, even showing a bit of fat and cellulite, with fake but not ginormous boobs. Truly, her best selling point is her sincerity; she seems to be new enough to the industry to enjoy it—she doesn’t give head like a porn star but with genuine interest. Plus, it helped that he would grab her head and slap her boobs around!
  • Mika in the sixth clip, a cute Asian with an interesting around-the-world technique and a strong, two-fingered kung-fu grip. And she’s not adverse to a little penis-beating on the face, which some folks liked.

More we didn’t like:

  • The cheap Wal-Mart lingerie
  • The standard floor crawl for every girl
  • Looking at the camera
  • Spitting
  • Guys wearing gym shoes with socks

DVD Reviews: Pornomation

Pornomation from AdamEve.comThis and other DVDs are available at AdamandEve.com. Use coupon code Minx for 50% off just about any item!

For last weekend’s special Brownies and Porn in Saint Louis, I wanted to try something a bit different. I figured there would be a good quota of sci-fi geeks there, and I was just really curious about XXX sci-fi fantasy porn. What would it be like?

The Pornomation DVD is split into two sections (swear to god, I seriously typed that “sexions” first!), Animations and Visitations. Animations is a series of roughly five-minute 3D animated clips, and Visitations is a collection of fantasy art set to music (quite artistically, really).

Comments from Brownies and Porn audience:

  • “She should get 2D8 damage” (said of a real woman sucking an animated cock the size of my entire torso)
  • who knew that one of the benefits of two women fucking a hobbit was that one of them could pick it up and use him to fuck the other woman?
  • Is it enviroporn if the hobbit becomes a tree after orgasm?
  • (for the short “Abduction”) Those five extra tentacles come in really handy for prying her pussy open, don’t they?
  • Even animated, porn stars shouldn’t be allowed to talk
  • (For the short “Passage”) the Valkyrie’s wings come in really handy for cunnilingus–the guy can remain standing, and she can just hover at mouth level! Now THAT’s a useful fantasy!
  • (For the short “The Groupies”) “Those just remind me of the California raisins” (if the California raisins were penises)

The Stimulations sections provided a huge variety of fantasy sex for all tastes–and I mean all tastes. Yup, some things this little girl never imagined showed up, including rock and tree porn, dinosaurs, self cunnilingus, Gulliver’s travels (yes, tiny women crawling on a giant man), mermaids, fucking the ocean, dolphin porn, a toothy crocodile eating a woman out, satyrs, equine cunnilingus, fantasy interspecies erotica, fairies, minotaurs, harpies, fangs, a skull with a penis tongue and a skeleton strapping on a live cock and fucking an anatomically perfect chick and dual and barbed barbed cocks. Oh, yes, a little something for everyone! I think we’ve found the DVD that makes Minx feel tame!

Review: Hot Properties adult DVD

Oh, my life is so rough, isn’t it? Must spend another lunch hour reviewing gay porn. This week’s DVD was Hot Properties, full of steamy men in great shape doing their realtors and clients. Oh, my!

For a special discount on this or almost any other item at AdamEve.com, use coupon checkout code Minx.

The DVD is chock-full of yummy gay goodness, with five scenes, all set in realty offices or hot properties for sale (with hot and willing owners, of course!):

Scene 1: Soap it up in the shower
The action starts right up with no preliminaries; we dive right in to one hottie feeling up another through his boxers (mmm; how come the guys I date don’t have washboard abs like that?) and then hopping into the shower to trade off kisses and oral sex. An added bit of titillation: a third guy overhears them and starts his own party in the hallway; his voyeuristic view of them through the doorway is beautifully framed so that we see all three hunks in their full glory. The juicy double money shot is at 22:45, BTW, first on a hairy chest, then on a shaven one and finally with our voyeur spilling his load on himself. Delicious!

24:30 Scene 2: Roommate problems
Ooh context! This hottie looking to buy a hot condo because of “roommate problems” consults a realtor… and they run into Naked Hottie Homeowner just out of the shower! Our troubled renter decides to take another look at the condo sans realtor and sans clothing–just two delicious hardbodies, two nipple rings, one pierced scrotum and many lustful glances. By the end, they are positively glistening with sweat as they pound, kiss and tease each other.

Scene 3: Why let a good spiral staircase go to waste?
This scene has a inordinate amount of establishing shots–nearly six minutes of the client and realtor crossing the GG bridge and driving to a more rural property, including them walking up a stream.
45:00 Finally, we get to the action! What’s with all the plot and establishing shots? Happily, shirts come off on the rural home’s elegant spiral staircase. We are finally rewarded for watching all that background with lots of kissing, licking and gorgeous black muscled booty. Yeah, force his head onto your big black cock while you grab onto the stair rail!

Ahem.

Anyway, if you love muscular black men wearing nothing but boots, you’ll love this scene. And the final jerk off is beautifully lit and framed: over the staircase’s architectural railing, the two smooth, muscular bodies shine and gleam as they shoot off the staircase into the landing below.

1:02:30 Scene 4: Hot at the office
We’re back at the Hot Properties office as a young latino client wanders in. It only takes a quick, “you’re a very handsome guy” from the realtor, for the latino in town from New York begins to unbotton his shirt and reveal his wifebeater, tribal tattoo and luscious member. Something about the clean-cut, blond gay realtor going down on the tattooed latino was just yummy, and the scene plays out right there on the desk–perfect for inspiring work/office fantasies, right down to taking a phone call while being pounded in the ass!

1:20:15 Scene 5: I’m your handyman
Well, wasn’t it nice to give us a handyman scene, complete with tool belt and unzipped jeans? This time, the realtor and client interrupt two carpenters in flagrante deliecto, so what else is there to do but for each one to grab a carpetner for himself? Now, that’s my kind of renovation! Two mouths on two cocks, then fucking on the ladder and a foursome in between the studs! And four guys means four come shots; a special treat!

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