PW 467: Metamour awesomeness with L

LustyGuy’s wife L joins us for a repeat performance sharing her advice on being a great metamourcomic hands heart

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1:00 Host chat

  • We had a great time at InfinityCon!
  • If you want to book us to speak at your event, contact lustyguy@polyweekly.com

5:30 Poly in the News

7:00 Topic: How to be an awesome metamour with L

LustyGuy’s wife L joins us behind the microphone again to share her tips to being an awesome metamour.

Why bother getting to know your metmamour?

  • You get a happier partner
  • New friends
  • Keep your partner busy/happy doing things you don’t like
  • You have a co-conspirator
  • It’s the right thing to do

Advice:

  • Don’t get in the middle
  • Feel free to support your partner but say “not my problem; not my girlfriend”
  • Your partner is not someone to make rules for. Trust and communicate instead. The closest they get is “don’t be a dick.”
  • Take care of yourself
  • Recognize envy and ask for what you want
  • Assume good intent

38:20 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 360: Crowdsourcing jealousy

How do you deal with jealousy?

How do you address jealousy?

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1:00 Announcements

4:30 Topic: how do you deal with jealousy?

Listeners brought up this question on Twitter, and we haven’t talked about jealousy in a while. So we threw it out to YOU, the listeners, on Facebook, Twitter and Google+, and your advice was GREAT:

  • If the solution to kids being jealous isn’t “only have one kid,” we should expect the same of adults as well
  • Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up has a great chapter on jealousy
  • Admit the feelings to yourself
  • Narrow down what you are feeling
  • Acknowledge your feelings; reflect; avoid shaming; seek comfort
  • Say it aloud; talk to someone about it
  • Understand that jealousy often involves the fear of loss and that adding a new partner doesn’t mean you get less
  • Understand that you can choose how you react to your emotions

You guys covered it very well! Minx’s tips:

  • Don’t panic. Being jealous doesn’t make you a bad person.
  • Listen to what your body/emotions are trying to tell you with the jealousy.
  • Fill in these blanks: “I’m afraid that if my partner/metamour does ___, it means ___.”
  • Share your thoughts/feelings with your partner(s) in a safe space.
  • Take care of yourself.
  • Ask for support.
  • Pat yourself on the back!

22:25 Feedback: Episode 357

  • Vir sent in this link on “average” and “normal” sex regarding episode 357’s inflammatory use of the word “normal” with regards to sex
  • Anonymous caller points out that when people of privilege are asked to look at their privilege, they can feel targeted and defensive
  • Morpheous comments on the mentions of couple privilege of late, saying ” It’s not a bad thing to have privilege, people who have just need to realize it limits their perspective and to give a voice to people without that privilege, allowing them to speak up.”

27:00 Thank you

Thanks to David for his generous $69.69 donation this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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