PW 445: How to be a trans ally

comic hands heartA trans activist shares tips on supporting the trans community and its members

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1:00 Announcements

  • Minx will be in New York September 24-27–ping me if you know of poly/kinky events going on!
  • I’ll be at CatalystCon West next weekend!

2:30 Poly in the News

Polyamory, an abundance of love is a friendly, supportive article on Deutsche Welle on polyamory

4:45 Topic: How to be a trans ally

Trans activist Oblio joins our live show in Eugene, Oregon, sponsored by As You Like It, the Pleasure Stop, to share how cisgendered folks can support the trans community.

  • What does “polyamory” mean to you and why do you self-identify as “authentic” instead?
  • What do you wish everyone understood about gender identity?
  • How do we facilitate a safe space to ask the ignorant questions?
  • How would someone approach you in terms of gender identity and pronoun?
  • What is “presenting” and why should you not use that to determine which pronoun to use for address?
  • I appear cisgendered and want to try on a new pronoun for play. Is that offensive or appropriation?

26:15 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Poly Weekly #152: Trans Like Me!

The new Polyamory Weekly #152: Trans Like Me! is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #152

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Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at

1:00 Host Chat
A Cunning Minx freshly back from Sex 2.0 relishes the memories of the conference! Rachel Kramer Bussel, eroticist and cupcake whore, was a delight; Regina Lynn from Wired; Audacia Ray, vixen extraordinaire and Melissa Gira made it amazing!

My first session was on sacred sexuality; Elizabeth Wood’s session on creating a sex-positive commons online was a great discussion; my own seminar on “Poly Pervs Like Me: Where Are They Hiding?” was packed full; Regina Lynn’s session on the history of cybersex was hysterical and enlightening; the last session of the day was Viviane of Viviane’s Sex Carnival with tons of great online tools

Plus, I learned that I’m too old to be a pole dancer!

8:00 Interview: Trans Like Me: Benny
Joanie had asked about transitioning from being a woman’s husband to being her wife and wanted to know about being poly and transgendered
9:30 Introduction: Benny is 26 and has been thinking about transitioning from a young age; kinky and pansexual for a long time
11:00 labels in the trans community
13:00 when and how it’s OK to ask what the transgendered story is; only OK to ask about genitals if the person is a potential partner
18:20 prejudice within the poly community
23:00 poly and kinky overlap; etiquette with trans folks in the poly community
28:00 using the wrong pronoun; rude outings
Check out his podcast, Young and Kinky on the 18-35-age kinksters

33:45 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Thanks for listening!

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Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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