PW 410: The world according to Gottman

A biased review of psychologist John Gottman’s research on relationships

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Dr. John Gottman with his wife Julie

Dr. John Gottman with his wife Julie

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

9:40 Topic: The world according to John Gottman

John Gottman is a professor of psychology famous for his work on evaluating marital stability through direct observational data points.

  • Famous for being able to predict whether a couple will stay together (which he refutes, but he can compare data and give odds of success). For example, if more than 20% of your interactions with your partner are negative, it’s likely that something needs to be addressed in order to increase relationship longevity
  • Microexpressions Also famously researched microexpressions
  • Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • Accessible research Great marketer and beneficial for taking his research and making the data accessible to the public
  • Challenge: his data isn’t replicable outside his experiments
  • Making bids for connection Recent Business Week article on couples making and accepting bids for connection being a top trait of successful relationships
  • Anger research Master versus disaster model, in which masters use anger to demo emotional importance rather than using it to express contempt. He posits that even healthy couples fight and get angry and that anger is functional in marriage.
  • But be aware that Gottman’s work focuses on monogamy and heterosexual couples only and is not a proponent of polyamory.

30:00 Happy Poly Moment

Clare from London writes in to share her discovery of polyamory, her self-identify as poly and her hopes of applying it to her new relationship.

35:10 Thanks

Thanks to Taylor and Igor for their donations and welcome Doug as the newest Poly Weekly Playmate!

36:00 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Poly Weekly Book Club meets WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4, 6:00 p.m.

Hello, all!

This month will be more of a munch, since most of us haven’t had time to order and read the book yet. But go ahead and order it, come this month, munch with us, and we’ll discuss the book next month!

The book: John Gottman’s The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work
When: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4, 6:00-9:00 p.m.
Where: The Center on Halsted, 2nd floor white couches

Also, The Mad Baker of Green Bay is taking requests for snacks–what yummies would you like for him to bake for us this time?

Also, I’d like to ask y’all a question. A documentary filmmaker from CurrentTV is doing a short documentary on how Poly Weekly is made. I’m toying with the idea of inviting him to this munch/book club meeting, mostly because I’d like the publicity for the Center on Halsted. However, I’d have to instruct him to keep the camera on me ONLY and not on the group at all. IF there were a camera there documenting the making of PW, would it deter you from coming? Would it hinder your participation?

Please be honest–I’d rather have a good munch than good footage. Thank you!

RSVP with subject line “Book Club” to or reply here so I know to look for you. Thanks!

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