PW 304: The intimacy-autonomy scale

What you need to know about the intimacy-autonomy scale and how it might be affecting your current relationship

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

3:55 Interview: Kathy Labriola describes the intimacy-autonomy scale

Kathy Labriola, a poly counselor, nurse and hypnotherapist and author of Love in Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships, shares her insights based on the intimacy-autonomy scale and how mismatches can cause misunderstandings in relationships. Need more autonomy and independence but matched with a partner with a higher need for attention and intimacy? Good advice all around. Find the book at Greenery Press or at the Stockroom (better than Amazon for authors!)

17:30 Happy Poly Moments

  • A listener writes in to share a Happy Poly Moment—discovering an old friend is actively poly: “It was so NICE to find someone “real”, someone I have known for years, to whom I had a relation out of the web or a meetup thing, who at least new what polyamory was… for the first time in years, we could talk with other people, face to face, about our opinions and experiences. Priceless.”
  • MG tells of running home to his lovely fiancée to tell her his girlfriend just said she loved him: “When I think back three years ago to the beginning of our poly adventure I couldn’t have imagined this. It makes all of the work that my fiancée and I put into working on or communication and jealousy issues (mostly me) worth it.”

20:45 Feedback

  • Scott, a listener in Australia, found us through Google+! And gives props to the HSV blues episode: “After contracting HSV from my first serious primary partner, I struggled a bit personally with it, and with what that meant about me and my lifestyle choice, and felt my ex’s condemning voice in the back of my mind. So it was refreshing to hear it put into an appropriate perspective.”
  • Gryphon writes in that Poly Weekly has taught him to be unafraid of asking for help and support and suggests the antithesis to NRE—Break Up Brain?

28:15 Thanks

Welcome Robin, Ryan and Nomputers to the Poly Weekly Playmates! And thanks to Jim and Bill for their donations to keep us running!

29:00 Wrapup


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 294: The HSV blues

The HSV blues–herpes myths busted and HSV stigma eliminated

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

  • The GaggleAmp experiment
  • Great having dinner with Kurt, our book reviewer!

2:40 Topic: The HSV blues

MakeUpandSin, 23, wrote in to ask for advice when she discovered she had herpes after she and her boyfriend brought a new girl into their relationship. Feeling unsexy, she blames herself and insists possible exposure is all her fault. Host Joreth asks why is it stigmatized more than a cold; the blame and guilt are disproportionate to the actual disease and mode of transmission.

  • Herpes is likely not due to promiscuity, has nothing to do with sexual past. Keep in mind that most children get it from their parents touching them, so get away from the blame game. Take positive steps: educate yourself on the medical details on the strain, placement, medications; arm yourself with information rather than guilt; gather questions and talk to your doctor.
  • When bringing up the issue with partners, Puck suggests going in confident and informed without a sense of shame or guilt; many people don’t even realize they have it because it’s a non-event. Joreth compares to some who get a cold and it’s nothing while others get totally wiped out. And keep in mind it’s also possible to be HSV positive and have partners who aren’t and keep that status; current tests aren’t effective and some who are known positives can sometimes test negative depending on the test.
  • HSV1 versus HSV2 and why the distinction doesn’t matter; location-based diagnosis; skanky STI films and the dangers of doing medical research online
  • Final advice – remember this is just a harmless virus and not a punishment for bad behavior; it’s just part of being alive, like getting a cold every year.

21:30 Feedback

  • Sean asked about episode 291 Yes Means Yes and why some people don’t use safewords. The short answer is (a) they are just arrogant pricks or (b) they prefer clear and specific communication (my right foot is asleep) to a black and white safeword.
  • 26:08 Pablo writes in to share the beauty of three.

28:45 Thanks

Thanks to Nathaniel, Emily, Blake and three-digit hero Iske for contributions this week that will go toward MomentumCon travel!

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly 263: STIpalooza, part 2

Special guests Dane Ballard and Danah Abarr of Sinplex Weekend share facts, myths and info about HSV, HPV and the stigma attached to both

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Topic: The straight dope on HSV and HPV and how it can improve your sex life

  • Guests Dane Ballard and Danah Abarr, creators of Sinplex Weekend, February 18-20 in Seattle
  • Danah Abarr, founder of HPV Hope
  • Follow Sinplex on Twitter
  • What percentage of the population have HPV and HSV? (70%)
  • The value of open dialogue
  • The power of questions and finding a doctor who is a good fit
  • False positives, false negatives and why the tests aren’t 100%
  • Gauging your own risk vs. how big a deal something is (panic vs. the ostrich syndrome)
  • How dealing with STD’s improves your sex life

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly 261: The STI Special, Part 1

Special guests Dane Ballard and Danah Abarr of Sinplex Weekend share facts, myths and info about HSV, HPV and the stigma attached to both

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Topic: the skinny on HSV and HPV and the people who experience them

Thank you!

  • Jared, Marina Joy, Peter for your donations this month!

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

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