PW 292: How not to be a douche on FetLife

How not to be a giant douche on FetLife

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 How not to be a douche on FetLife

Best practices for getting FetLife booty and not being pegged as a douchebag:

  1. Tell us who you are.
    • a. Complete your profile before sending messages to anyone else.
    • b. Have a profile picture that looks like you (not your cock, girlfriend, slave or favorite cartoon character, YOU.)
    • c. Include photos that are primarily of you or your work. This does not include photos of the last 20 girls that sucked your cock. It does include toys you made, pretty rope work and artistic shots of scenes that convey a strong emotion and your own personality.
    • d. List your fetishes.
  2. Pay attention. Read a person’s profile before you message him/her. If the person is smart enough to specify what he/she does and doesn’t like in terms of approach, offers and play, read and respect that. Modify your opening message accordingly.
  3. Be civil. Being confrontational and aggressive or writing in all caps doesn’t make you a hot top, and no one is falling for it. No experienced bottom will associate aggression from a stranger as hot, safe, sane or sexy.
  4. Participate. FetLife is a community. Join groups that you find interesting and participate in discussions (see #3). Show that you’re not just kinky online or in private but an active member of the local scene with other people that know and trust you.

16:15 Movie review: Head in the Clouds

Joreth reviews Head in the Clouds as a poly-friendly movie.

20:30 Feedback

  • Grace asked how to handle mundane things like chores and finances.
  • Blake wrote on episode 288 on geeks and kink in to make a correlation between a creative, open mind and sexual late-bloomers, “I think being kinky and geeky totally makes you more intelligent than the average person.”
  • Angel responded to Matt’s rant against marriage in episode 288 to clarify a personal take on marriage: “To us a wedding is a chance to celebrate your relationship publicly with other people.”

28:00 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 288: The collision of geeks and kink

Teresa Jusino and Pendard explain why so many sci fi content creators and fans are kinky

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

2:45 Geeks and Kink

Teresa Jusino and Pendard sign on as geek experts research the correlation between sci-fi geekiness and kink/BDSM proclivities. Why are so many geeks kink-friendly, and why are so many comic books and sci-fi plots kinky?

  • Are sci-fi content creators all kinky, or do the fans demand kink?
  • Why are depictions of kink in sic fi more realistic and more accepted?
  • Are creators/consumers kinkier than the average bear or just average but more willing to talk about it?
  • Four theories on the collision of geeks and kink
  • Pendard shares the kinky background of Wonder Woman; was William Marston kinky himself?
  • The top five geektastic kinky couples
  • Listener question from Graydancer: why are there more “real” geek girls out there now?
  • Geek Girl Con
  • Listener question from Justin: does the geek/kink connection have to do with intelligence?

Jusino’s article in ChinaShop Mag

35:00 Feedback

37:00 Thanks

Thanks to Sarah Elizabeth for the generous donation this week!

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 280: Kinkster Advice Line

Raven Kaldera answers your questions about being poly in a D/s relationship

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

2:20 Raven Kaldera answers your poly BDSM questions!

Raven Kaldera, author of Polyamory and Power Circuits, shares some wisdom on polyamory in the world of BDSM and power dynamics.

  • 3:00 QuotidianLight: How to structure a relationship where a fem sub has her own fem sub. “Do I ask your daddy?” Who is in charge of whom?
  • 6:55 Nellodee: How to make a long-distance, poly D/s relationship work?
  • 10:45 DocErotiq: How to handle being a sub to your primary but Dom to everyone else. They have an owned and collared sub, and he bottoms to her. Also, how to be a Dom as a parent who is a switch and subs to Mom.
  • 16:10 AdeleLoves: How can a couple where one person is into D/s and the other isn’t make it work?

23:15 Feedback

  • Regarding Am I jealous? Episode 277 comments on religious tolerance – a bit of a rant proclaiming no religious tolerance until the religion tolerates different orientations
  • Josh on episode 221 on the This American Life episode on infidelity

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 279: Polyamory and BDSM

Raven Kaldera, author of Polyamory and Power CircuitsRaven Kaldera talks about polyamory in a power dynamice–and targets common misakes

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:40 Interview: Raven Kaldera on Polyamory and BDSM

Raven Kaldera, author of Polyamory and Power Circuits, shares some wisdom on polyamory in the world of BDSM and power dynamics.

  • Why do we need a poly book exclusively about power dynamics and D/s?
  • Why we should not take lessons from porn
  • The power of months of negotiation
  • Common myth: the BBM (Big Bad Master) has to make all the relationship decisions and simply instruct his slaves how to behave
  • Best advice: force your slaves to talk to each other to deal with conflict
  • Jealousy with owned slave versus part-time sub
  • Dealing with egalitarian partners; addressing Shiny New Lover syndrome with a current/egalitarian partner

32:00 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

How to make ShibariCon 2011 Your Best Con Ever

Slides from my intro to congoing and con conversation class at ShibariCon. Thanks to everyone who participated!

PW 274: Am I jealous?

Listener W writes in to ask: am I jealous, or is this situation unfair?

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Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:20 Topic: Am I jealous?

Wendy writes in to ask advice from the cohost team: am I jealous? She gets a certain number of hours a week with her top, and compares that to the number of hours his wife enjoys with him. She relays anecdotes of her top engaging in sex with another bottom, which was beyond the scope of their agreement, and with his wife, which was beyond her expectations. She relays a situation in which she watched the children for his and his wife’s anniversary trip, but her own collaring anniversary went unnoticed.

Is she jealous and how should she cope? Cohosts Joreth, Pepper and Franklin share insights and give advice, including making a list of the things she needs to feel secure in a relationship and how she would like for commitment to be shown.

20:40 Announcements

Poly in Pictures blog on jealousy – for a little jealousy humor

21:40 Feedback

  • Musqrat comments on the Sister Wives commentary from episode 266, comparing to a sort of institutionalized D/s situation
  • A caller who believes in religious polygyny makes a call for tolerance
  • DDog calls in to appreciate the term “anchors” from episode 260

35:40 Thanks to Earl and John for their donations

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 273: You’re not as kinky as you think

How kinky are we, really?

What is mainstream and what is sexually deviant? Turns out, there’s no such thing as sexual deviance

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1:00 Introduction and host chat

6:00 Topic: You’re not as kinky as you think

Musings over the findings of a massive internet sex survey made into a book, “A Billion Wicked Thoughts,” by Sai Gaddam. Interesting findings include:

  • Gay and straight men alike favor chests, butts and feet, in that order
  • The top 10 sex searches cover youth, gay, MILFs (go MILFs!), breasts and cheating wives.
  • Men fantasize a lot about group sex.
  • Straight men prefer amateur porn to highly-produced porn (score one for real boobs and brown hair!)
  • Dominance and submission are extremely common searches, not terribly deviant
  • Foot fetishes are common across all cultures
  • “There’s no such thing as sexual deviance.”

17:55 Feedback

David, 60, shares his experiences organizing and running KanPoly, a Kansas-area discussion and social poly group

    19:50 Wrap-up

    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

    Top 10 reasons to go to ShibariCon 2011

    shibaricon.comI love my email inbox some days! I just got an email from a kinkster considering attending his first ShibariCon. He asked me to convince him to come. Since this is one of my favorite cons that I’ve attended nearly every year since its inception, I’m happy to oblige. Wondering if it’s worth the trip? If you have any interest in kink, rope or shibari, it is!

    Top 10 Reasons You Should Go to ShibariCon 2011:

    1. Chicago in May? Lovely!
    2. Bonus: trip to IML leather market, $2, for the best variety and best prices on leather gear all year.
    3. Got a costuming fetish? Dress up every day and night if you like!
    4. Midori. ‘Nuff said.
    5. Graydancer’s cabaret. Even if your whole day sucked, this will have you cheering.
    6. Rope twister!
    7. Hard points, hard points, hard points!
    8. Sadistic rope tops and hot submissive ass.
    9. Mollena’s Mojo. Every session she gives fills your brain and makes you laugh.
    10. You know you’ll regret it if you don’t!

    Poly Weekly 260: Replacing “primary” and “secondary”

    Special guest cohost Steve Eley chats about replacing  the term “primary” and gives advice to new poly kinksters

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    Introduction and host chat

    Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

    Topic: A replacement for “primary” and “secondary”

        Listener question

        • Exploring poly and kink; how do you start dating?
        • What do you do when one partner wants kink only and the other wants full-on sexual relationships?

        Teaser

        Wrap-up
        Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

        Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

        Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

        Poly Weekly 259: Mo and the Magic Banana

        Mollena Williams, monogamous-identified kinktastic chick, talks about entering a poly BDSM arrangement

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        Introduction and host chat

        Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

        Announcements

        Interview: Mollena Williams, the Perverted Negress

        • Are you poly-identified? Why or why not?
        • How did an emotionally monogamous person gel with entering a poly BDSM, cross-country arrangement?
        • Why is this banana magic?
        • The importance of metamours
        • Visit Mo and her mojo at her site

          Wrap-up
          Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

          Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

          Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

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