PW 342: Getting over your Dom

How do you get over the loss of an intense relationship, like a D/s one?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • Minx and LustyGuy got back from vacation… sick as dogs.
  • PW friend J.R. Blackwell, an amazing photographer, is looking to photograph a poly wedding! See Blackwell's work here and get HALF OFF to the first poly group that engages her!

4:35 Topic: Getting over your Dom

How do you get over your Dom after an intense relationship and a rough breakup? Some advice:

  • This just sucks, kinky or not. Allow yourself to grieve the loss.
  • You'll get through this. And you'll be better for it.
  • Seek out a poly/kinky support network for this and other issues. Being isolated makes a breakup even harder.
  • Find a poly/kinky-friendly therapist in your area to have someone professional to talk to. I did this, and it helped make the year after a difficult breakup much better.

16:30 Feedback

Lee asks for advice on losing a poly relationship and going from a poly family of three to just a couple of two.

19:00 Happy Poly Moment

Herbalwise shares a happy poly moment.

22:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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PW 280: Kinkster Advice Line

Raven Kaldera answers your questions about being poly in a D/s relationship

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

2:20 Raven Kaldera answers your poly BDSM questions!

Raven Kaldera, author of Polyamory and Power Circuits, shares some wisdom on polyamory in the world of BDSM and power dynamics.

  • 3:00 QuotidianLight: How to structure a relationship where a fem sub has her own fem sub. “Do I ask your daddy?” Who is in charge of whom?
  • 6:55 Nellodee: How to make a long-distance, poly D/s relationship work?
  • 10:45 DocErotiq: How to handle being a sub to your primary but Dom to everyone else. They have an owned and collared sub, and he bottoms to her. Also, how to be a Dom as a parent who is a switch and subs to Mom.
  • 16:10 AdeleLoves: How can a couple where one person is into D/s and the other isn’t make it work?

23:15 Feedback

  • Regarding Am I jealous? Episode 277 comments on religious tolerance – a bit of a rant proclaiming no religious tolerance until the religion tolerates different orientations
  • Josh on episode 221 on the This American Life episode on infidelity

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 273: You’re not as kinky as you think

How kinky are we, really?

What is mainstream and what is sexually deviant? Turns out, there’s no such thing as sexual deviance

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1:00 Introduction and host chat

6:00 Topic: You’re not as kinky as you think

Musings over the findings of a massive internet sex survey made into a book, “A Billion Wicked Thoughts,” by Sai Gaddam. Interesting findings include:

  • Gay and straight men alike favor chests, butts and feet, in that order
  • The top 10 sex searches cover youth, gay, MILFs (go MILFs!), breasts and cheating wives.
  • Men fantasize a lot about group sex.
  • Straight men prefer amateur porn to highly-produced porn (score one for real boobs and brown hair!)
  • Dominance and submission are extremely common searches, not terribly deviant
  • Foot fetishes are common across all cultures
  • “There’s no such thing as sexual deviance.”

17:55 Feedback

David, 60, shares his experiences organizing and running KanPoly, a Kansas-area discussion and social poly group

    19:50 Wrap-up

    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

    Poly Weekly #167: Real people open up

    Poly Weekly #167: Real people open up

    Download this episode directly!

    0:00 Introduction and host chat
    Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

    (This episode was a bit difficult to timecode.  People didn’t keep repeating their names so I wasn’t able to always tell who was who.  I did what I can.  -FS)

    4:20 This weeks subject for the online book review.  “The Myth Of MOnogamy”

    6:15 Minx starts by asking everybody if they have read the book.  Tom and Eros both participated in the discussion.

    6:43 Minx asks, what things really grabbed them.  Eros commented on how specific the conversation needs to be on sex and love.

    8:00 Minx points out that her and a previous partner had different ideas of what “sex” and “scening” was.  Communication would have brought this out.

    9:10 Tom agrees and talks about his relationship and how his partner and him come from different backgrounds.

    10:30 Tom and Minx discuss different meanings of “sex.”

    12:10 Tom points out that he is mainly mono in his relationship from laziness!

    12:48 Greg has also joined us from text.

    13:00 Minx asks if any other revelations from the book.  Eros talks about the meaning of “polyamory”

    14:50 (I think this is Tom) brings up when your partner ends up with somebody you don’t think they should be with.

    16:30 Minx asks Tom how the book helped him in that scenario.

    18:00 The discussion moves to dealing with your partners when they start to make mistakes and how to deal with them.

    19:20 Minx quotes from the section of the book on the kind of people to look for and talks about it.

    20:07 Eros thinks you have a responsbility to say something to your partner if they are making a mistake but don’t badger them.  He brings up an example in his own life.

    22:00 (I am not sure who this is, Tom I think) talks about the unique experience of being poly where you might have to help your partner with comfort on the loss o a lover.

    23:40 (I think Tom’s) wife loved the book.

    24:20 Minx comments the section on sexual health and safer sex practices and how much she likes it.

    27:00 it’s hot in chicago! :)

    27:00 Minx brings up the chapter on common challenges and problems.  Eros references back to the interview with Tacit to talk about NRE (New RElationship Energy).

    29:00 Minx talks about her opinion on NRE using some excerpts from the book.

    31:09 Eros asks if there is a way to tell when the NRE falls off.

    32:10 Minx brings up other common problems from this chapter and asks for opinions.

    33:10 Eros brings up time management and the group disucsses this topic.

    36:50 (Eros I think) brings up three different definitions of love from the book and Minx adds to this discussion.

    39:35 Eros felt the book made sense to him.

    40:18 Eros is working through fluid bonding issues which starts a discussion.

    Thanks to Tom and Eros for working on the announcing themselves.

    Announcements

    • CPR for kinky people, Saturday, September 13, 2008, 10 am-6pm, Leather Archives & Museum, $90; Contact Descara: vdescara@yahoo.com
    • Meet and Greet, October 4th, Maryborough, Queensland, Australia

    Online Book Discussion: Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up
    Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up

    Wrap-up
    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

    Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

    Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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