What to do when your hierarchy gets in the way of your actual relationships
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1:00 Host chat
Poly book review: Dragongirl
5:00 Poly in the News
Super cool poly 101 video being distributed
Poly living and cohabitation recriminalized in Utah court ruling
10:45 Topic: When hierarchies collide
S is new to poly and started dating one guy, Matt, who wanted a primary + more structure (he’s divorced with kids and anti-marriage). Then she started dating Luke, who is unmarried and wants to be married. So Matt rushed off to find himself a fresh, new primary as she contemplates marriage to Luke.
Any advice on dealing with hierarchies when they aren’t serving anyone well?
Grant writes in to ask when to share his user manual in the dating process
27:30 Wrap up
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Can you maintain a relationship while changing the cohabitation situation?
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2:00 News and host chat
- LustyGuy cohosts
- Psychology Today reporting on a University of Michigan study that showed that people perceive nonmonogamists to have more negative traits, including paying taxes late and flossing, as well as being more sexually risky. A previous study showed that consensual nonmonogamists practice less risky sexual behavior and are more likely to get tested and use condoms.
- A new site for HSV and HPV positives, Love H Style
- The Drama Reduction Act
12:00 Moving Out Without Moving On
Vicky writes in to ask how to maintain a relationship when the living situation isn’t working out. Can primaries move out and still keep up a healthy relationship?
20:00 Listener Feedback
Thanks to Jeff and Aggie for their donations!
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email email@example.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
This article on a couple who are married with kids but who have different homes a la Diego Rivera and Frieda Kahlo are a new statistic: the bands of couples who choose to “live apart together” for various reasons.
As I read the article, their obstacles don’t seem all that insurmountable–different tastes in decorating styles, music, noise level, cleanliness. Frankly, it sounds to me like the types of differences couples and triads and quads have dealt with for ages.
But I think I missed the point on the first read. Remember what we’ve been talking about lately on Poly Weekly about construction our relationships and civil and emotional unions deliberately? That’s exactly what this couple did–sure, they probably could have smoothed out all the wrinkled and lived together, but why? Because everyone else does? Because it’s expected? Because that’s what married people do–share bathrooms and toothbrushes and complain about leaving the toilet seat up or down?
Good for them. Good for them for looking at marriage and a living arrangement as a choice rather than a given and actually deciding what works for them.