By Cunning Minx, on January 4th, 2013%
 How do you handle poly partners around the family?
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1:00 Announcements and host chat
- LustyGuy cohosts
- Poly Prom in Richmond, VA, Saturday, March 9, 7:00 PM at the gay community center of Richmond Hall Info on FetLife
3:00 Topic: Poly for the holidays
How LustyGuy, L and Minx handled being out and in for holiday family visits. Tips: ask each person what he/she needs to feel happy and loved for the holiday and make sure each person gets those things. Take care of yourself first.
12:20 Happy Poly Moments
- Lila shares a happy moment of coming out in defense of polyamory and bisexuality in her LGBTQ studies class. Great courage!
- Hera shares her first poly experience
15:30 Feedback
- Scott on the Swingset mashup episode argues that drama isn’t inherent in poly relationships, although LustyGuy points out that drama is common in first-time relationships, and first-time poly would fit the bill
- Quick plug for Pedestrian Polyamory podcast if you’re not into kink or geekiness
- Joreth called in to recommend hosting a poly movie night; her list of poly-themed movies is here
- K shares his light bulb moment on the episode with Aggie on treating non-primaries well LustyGuy comments that change in a relationship should be welcomed and embraced because growth is essential for healthy relationships.
26:30 Thank you
Thanks to Joan, Ariane and Sean for joining the PW Playmates!
Outro
Our holiday outro music is Heat Miser by the Locals
Wrap up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email?  Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on October 24th, 2012%
 Listeners, LustyGuy and Minx give advice on dating someone who is in a long-term relationship that is imploding
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1:00 Announcements and host chat
4:00 Topic: Dating in a doomed relationship
A listener writes in to ask how to deal with dating someone whose marriage is falling apart. Should she distance herself? How does she deal with the soon-to-be-ex wife? PW listeners give advice, including:
- Stop dating him and be supportive friend to both
- If the relationship is already long-term, don’t leave, but offer to be a sounding board (we disagree that you should offer to be a sounding board but agree that not taking sides or speaking ill of anyone is key)
- Be prepared to fail
- Set limits by saying hurtful behavior and words won’t be tolerated
- Be aware that how he acts during this breakup is very telling in how he will eventually treat YOU
29:20 Happy Poly Moment
David writes in to share his experience going from cheating to DADT to honesty and is rewarded with some frubble.
37:00 Thanks
Thanks to David for the donation!
Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on August 15th, 2012%
 How to manage a poly dating schedule without stepping on toes
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1:00 News and host chat
- LustyGuy cohosts
- I’ll be giving Content Creation for the Online Activist at CatalystCon September 14-16 in Long Beach
2:45 Topic: The schedule dance
Herbalwise calls in to ask best practices for coordinating schedules with a new partner while being considerate of the existing partner. If you can’t do a regular date night because of kids and whatnot, how do you grab time while remaining considerate of the life partner?
- Question: why can’t dates be scheduled?
- Question: why are you hesitating to speak to your life partner about dates and scheduling?
- LustyGuy points out the importance of time budgeting
- Minx recommends the three C’s of poly dating:
- Clarity – be clear about what you want, need and will accept
- Calendar – used shared calendars (Google is popular)
- Communication – communicate with all parties before, during and after dates as needs shift and change
- Recommendations from listeners via Facebook, Twitter and Google+ include:
- Shared Google calendars and unlimited texting plans
- Only have as many partners as you can handle and schedule time-wise
- Schedule some events long in advance and leave blocks of time open for serendipitous meetings with lovers
- Overlapping social circles, group dates and double dates
- Teuxdeux for tasks
33:00 Happy Poly Moment
DDom shares joy in discovering a close community via FetLife.
37:00 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on July 31st, 2012%
 Showtime’s new reality show Polyamory: Married and Dating. Is it as good as we want or as bad as we fear?
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Introduction
Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen
1:30 News and host chat
- Wanna go to Burning Man? We are raffling off a ticket in July as a fundraiser to send Minx to CatalystCon! For every $10 donation here, you’ll get one raffle entry. On July 31 (tomorrow!) we’ll draw and announce the winner of the ticket to Burning Man 2012! Void where prohibited.
- LustyGuy will be giving a talk on Punching, Slapping and Kicking, Oh My! at Paradise, August 11.
5:00 Topic: Showtime’s new reality show on polyamory
Showtime has a new reality show called Polyamory: Married and Dating. It follows a triad and a quad and the conversations, conflicts and undercover action they experience. But is it any good?
What do we think? LustyGuy admires the craft and believes it fits the genre and audience expectations for Showtime After Dark perfectly. Minx (not a fan of reality TV in general) finds the characters accessible, far more so than anyone portrayed in Big Love or Sister Wives. While many of the characters annoy her personally and don’t impress her with their low level of emotional intelligence, the show is a far more accurate portrayal of polyamory than anything we’ve seen in the mainstream so far, and many of the characters do model good communication skills and emotionally intelligent behavior.
And special thanks to Scott Campbell for making it possible for us to view the episodes!
42:00 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on July 17th, 2012%
 What to do when your metamours get jealous of your wealth and well-hung dick
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Introduction
Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen
1:00 News and host chat
- Minx and LustyGuy share the importance of owning your own poly shit.
- Minx tells about a recent instance when the usually supportive LustyGuy asked for support himself, and Minx fell short. Instead of drama ensuing, Minx took the next opportunity to look at her shit and apologize for being an insensitive jerk.
- Wanna go to Burning Man? We are raffling off a ticket in July as a fundraiser to send Minx to CatalystCon! For every $10 donation here, you’ll get one raffle entry. On July 30, we’ll draw and announce the winner of the ticket to Burning Man 2012! Void where prohibited.
10:00 Topic: Help! I’m rich with a big penis!
Cyotee calls in to ask for help: he’s rich with a big dick. What to do? Well, specifically, what to do when his metamours get jealous of his marathon lovemaking sessions and lavish trips with their sweeties? Minx and LustyGuy give advice:
- Keep in mind that anyone can have great vacation sex. The new, outside lover is often in a perpetual state of NRE or “vacation sex.”
- Don’t play the comparison game between you and your metamour, and don’t let your partners do it, either. Instead, find the joy in the moment and in each partner.
- Show that you support the existing relationship. If you don’t know, ask your metamour how to keep their relationship happy and healthy.
- Treat the relationship like a birthday party for an 8-year-old: bring a present for the birthday girl’s younger brother. Instead of buying your lover a $500 diamond necklace, buy a $250 necklace and a really nice bottle of scotch for your metamour. Let some of your love and attention for your lover spill over onto the metamour as well.
- Or when you take your lover on a vacation, invite the metamour along. Or give him tickets to an event he’ll enjoy.
25:30 Happy Poly Moment
Charles and Sarah share the story of being married for 16 years with 4 kids and opening their marriage. They starting dating a couple, uncovered emotional baggage and took a break to deal with their own baggage and insecurities.
A few comments: Remember that your first relationship is with yourself. Also, while it’s nice to want to get back together with the couple you started dating, keep in mind that personal growth and appropriate relationships should be the goal, not one relationship in particular.
32:10 Feedback
Tony is a new listener who wrote in about a 90s song that is poly-ish: Three Is Family.
35:45 Thanks
Thanks to Eynstein, Wayne and Chris for the donations this week. Woo hoo!
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on May 17th, 2012%
 Listener M writes in with a dilemma: what do you do when you love your girlfriend but hate your metamour?
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Introduction
Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen
1:00 News and host chat
- Welcome to our cohost, LustyGuy. Can you tell which Scotch he is sipping?
1:50 Topic: I hate my metamour!
M writes in to say that he finds his girlfriend’s new partner so repulsive that he hates the guy, which is not helped by the fact that the girlfriend revealed that the partner is trapped in a sexless marriage and believes that M and girlfriend are moving too quickly.
- A drama queen? Much of the negative information on the partner (“Scary Clown”) came to M secondhand from the girlfriend. Always question why your girlfriend chooses to reveal unflattering information about a metamour secondhand. Is there a need for drama on her part? Relationship management skills are needed here.
- Open lines of communication there is no line of communication open between Scary Clown and M. Of course he feels uncomfortable.
- Responsibilities of the point The person at the point of the vee (here, the girlfriend) has additional responsibilities in terms of nurturing healthy relationships and conveying only the most relevant and supportive information to partners. However, this person should NEVER agree to act as mediator between the other two parties.
- Setting boundaries the people at the edges of the vee need to set boundaries and be careful to express what they need rather than a simple “I don’t like so-and-so.” For that matter, the person at the point of the vee also needs to set boundaries such as “No saying that M and I aren’t good as a couple. That’s not supportive, and I won’t tolerate it.”
19:45 Feedback
Wayne writes in about an NPR piece on breasts. Audio and transcripts are here.
24:00 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on March 28th, 2012%
 Why Ecstasy is Necessary An interview with Barbara Carrellas, author of Ecstasy is Necessary, on making tantric sex available to everyone on an everyday basis
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Introduction
Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen
1:00 Announcements and Host chat
3:50 Interview: Why ecstasy is necessary
Barbara Carrellas is a certified sexologist, sex educator, sex/life coach, and sensual
revolutionary. She is the author of a new book on tantra for the everyday user, Ecstasy is Necessary She answers Minx’s and LustyGuy’s questions, such as:
- Why another book on tantra? How is this book more accessible and less woo-woo?
- Isn’t tantra just breathing together for two hours and not coming?
- What is “thinking off” and can you really breathe your way to an orgasm?
- How can tantra be achieved with our distracted monkey minds?
- 16:00 LustyGuy switchover!
- What about the science and medical information in the book, which is remarkably detailed and accurate?
- Why is it important that there isn’t one true path to ecstasy?
- Was it intentional that the book is directed at everyone, not just the kink and woo-woo communities?
- Angergasms, screamgasms and feargasms
24:35 Thanks
Thanks and welcome to new PW Playmates James and Haddayr as well as to Tara for the generous donations!
26:30 Wrap up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on December 7th, 2011%
 The care and feeding of your poly drama–and how to avoid it!
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Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:00 Host chat
We’re closing in on episode 300. And it’s all YOURS! Call in your poem, limerick, story, joke, Happy Poly Moment, book review, rant; whatever! Call in to 206-202-POLY or attach an mp3 to email to polyweekly@gmail.com. Without YOU, there will be no show!
4:45 Topic: The care and feeding of drama
Drama doesn’t just happen; it needs insecurity, neurosis, lack of communication and passive-aggressiveness to survive. So how do you avoid drama? Cohost LustyGuy and Minx go over the basics:
- Definition of drama: Adding amplitude to emotional reactions vs specific behaviors
- Ways to avoid drama
- After initial immediate reaction, decide how you are going to behave
- Own your own shit (and communicate it!)
- Communicate in little bits, often, before the situation builds to a confrontation
- Talk about behaviors, not your judgments of them
- Talk about your own actions and feelings, not the other person’s
- Talk about the topic at hand, and only one at a time
- Examples from Lusty and Minx
- Early miscommunication + disconnect re: staying over
- Elle taking finances back from LustyGuy
34:00 Thanks
Thanks to Paul, Marcie and Paul for their donations! And welcome Emma, Vir and Amy to the Poly Weekly Playmate subscription!
35:00 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
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How do you handle poly partners around the family?
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