PW 374: Four mistakes couples make when opening up

 

Marcia Baczynski and Minx at CatalystCon West 2013

Marcia Baczynski and Minx at CatalystCon West 2013

How to avoid the classic mistakes couples make when trying nonmonogamy

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1:00 Host chat

Nothing to see here; move along!

2:00 Interview: Four mistakes couples make when opening up with Marcia Baczynski

Thanks to Marcia for sharing with us these four tips! Where to find Marcia:

And here we go! The classic mistakes:

  1. Not knowing what you want. Poly may mean different things to different folks. Take the time to talk about what you want and direct the picture in your head; this also means you develop terminology for future discussions. It’s also useful to take stock of your current relationship.
  2. Going too fast. Many couples move way too fast, and a few move too slowly. Find your comfortable pace. This isn’t about restrictions; it’s about taking the time to enjoy experience, as with any romance. Enjoy the journey! Take the time to find your comfort zone rather than diving in headfirst.
  3. Avoiding jealousy. Don’t ignore the truth of negative emotions because you think it makes you a bad poly person. That only leads to uncomfortable situations. No one is too “good” to be jealous. Just admit and deal with your jealousy.
  4. Trying to be the perfect poly person. Feeling that you have to be perfect either for your partner or to prove that poly was a good choice for you are both self-destructive beliefs to hold. Nothing beats admitting your emotions. Practice some tough love on yourself! No one was perfect at poly the first (or even the last) time they tried it. Be willing to be vulnerable.

35:20 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 337: Successful non-monogamy

Marcia Baczynski of Successful Nonmonogamy

What four things do you need to evaluate before opening your relationship?

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1:00 News and host chat

8:00 Sex for your earbuds

Sex Nerd Sandra podcast

11:00 Successful Nonmonogamy

Marciz Baczynski is hosting a series of ongoing classes and coaching for those entering their first non-monogamous relationship. Because one book and a friend or two isn’t enough; we need ongoing support to keep drama to a minimum! Visit her site to get her free ebook and read her blog.

38:00 Happy Poly Moment

A great story of finding a good spiritual home that welcomes leather lesbian nonmonogamists.

42:00 Thanks

Thanks to Toma and Hayley for their donations!

Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


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