Poly Weekly #207: The death of the two-parent family

This week’s Poly Weekly #207: The death of the two-parent American family (and we care because… ?).

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Topic:The death of the two-parent American family
The Time article
Psychology Today’s corrections

Miss Poly Manners: who gets the friends after a breakup?

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #206: If Sanford were polyamorous

This week’s Poly Weekly #206: If Sanford were polyamorous (or “Sanford and Sin”).

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Topic: If Mark Sanford were polyamorous
Sanford’s emails
Loving More’s press release
Article: the Sanctity of Truth
OpinionatedThought’s blog post on ‘Love as thou wilt’
Dan Savage’s take

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

From Poly Living 2009: Diana Adams on gay/poly marriage

Diana Adams speaking briefly at Poly Living 2009:

From Poly Living 2009: Poly Weddings and Gay Marriage Rights

Diana Adams’ talk on Poly Weddings: the legal impact of same sex marriage decision on your poly family with Diana Adams. (I did record audio of this session with permission; check the Poly Weekly feed soon)

  • There is a legal bias against those who are sex-positive
  • Discussing “emotional pre-nups”–discussing what your relationship will look like and the terms of your breakup beforehand
  • She uses a forensic psychologist to help refocus on the issue of which of the parents is doing more negative parenting–the one who never puts the kid to bed or the one who does and who happens to have a locked cabinet of sex toys
  • The vibrator laws aren’t about vibrators but what it would mean if we allowed that: “You have the right to sell Tupperware, but not if there is a dildo in it.” Now focusing on how and whether these rules are actually to prevent harm.
  • Definition of “prostitution” in New York: sexual conduct for a fee. That is, whatever a judge decides is “sexual,” creating a culture of fear and shame for all workers, sexual and even sexual healers as well.

Prop 8 in California
The debate is whether this should be an actual amendment to the California constitution, which is surprisingly easy to amend. Diana argues this should be a court decision, not one put to the voting populace. There are now questions as to whether gay couples married during the legal period will still be legally married. She showed an Amicus brief from an organization associated with the religious right stating that because bisexual and polyamorous people can’t get legally married, we don’t need to give marriage rights to gays, either.

Same-Sex Marriage Debate and How It Affects Us
Diana explains how arguing that marriage is a fundamental human right actually harms the poly marriage issue. Lawrence v Texas overturned older sodomy laws, with an apology, maintaining it was undignified to afford homosexual citizens the same right to have private sex in their homes. (Does everybody know what “santorum” is?)

Two arguments being made:

  1. Sexual orientation should be a legal right as a “suspect class”, or group that has traditionally faced discrimination and thus needs protection. Saying that sexual orientation is a “suspect class” is a major step and very powerful. In states with civil unions, the argument is that allowing civil unions but not marriage for suspect classes is inherently as unfair as “separate but equal.”
  2. We ask: why aren’t we making the argument that the state shouldn’t be making marriages at all? The issue with making marriage a fundamental right is valorizing it and thus further entrenching it into our law, and we’ll no longer be able to separate church and state. This is dangerous because it’s appealing to morality and accepting the institution of marriage without examining it. We went from criminalizing to heterosexualizing our relationships.

Tidbits

  • We have passed the time where we link sexual relationships with economic dependency.
  • Participants recommend readings by Stephanie Koontz on the history of marriage and marriage as a tool of governmental control.

Poly Weekly book club meets WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4th

Ready to discuss relationships this time? Let’s take some advice from a monogamist!

Gottman's Seven Principles for Making  a Marriage Work

When: Wednesday, March 4th, 6:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.
Where: Lidos Caffe, 122 N. Marion Street, Oak Park, IL
What: hearty discussion of relationships among poly and poly-friendly folks

Please RSVP so we know to look for you–we usually meet in the back room. See y’all there!

Poly Weekly #180: Are Happy Endings Cheating?

This week Poly Weekly #180:Are happy endings cheating?.

Download the episode directly!

Article here

3:07 Minx talks about the article she read about a woman who encouraged her husband to get a “happy ending.” The article was from mom logic.

4:45 Minx brings up the comments, the most interesting part of these type of articles.

5:10 Only a small majority considered “happy endings” cheating.

5:40 Minx goes through the actual comments on the site. and providing her feedback on these comments.

8:10 10 comments in and finally somebody brings up a more supportive comment.

10:20 Minx talks about how great strip clubs are!

10:50 Minx asks the questions, how would this woman feel if the husband wanted to do this regularly?

12:30 What if you aren’t the only thing your husband needs?

14:30 It is important that everybody has the same definitions for terms (e.g. cheating).

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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Poly Weekly Book Club meets WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4, 6:00 p.m.

Hello, all!

This month will be more of a munch, since most of us haven’t had time to order and read the book yet. But go ahead and order it, come this month, munch with us, and we’ll discuss the book next month!

The book: John Gottman’s The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work
When: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4, 6:00-9:00 p.m.
Where: The Center on Halsted, 2nd floor white couches

Also, The Mad Baker of Green Bay is taking requests for snacks–what yummies would you like for him to bake for us this time?

Also, I’d like to ask y’all a question. A documentary filmmaker from CurrentTV is doing a short documentary on how Poly Weekly is made. I’m toying with the idea of inviting him to this munch/book club meeting, mostly because I’d like the publicity for the Center on Halsted. However, I’d have to instruct him to keep the camera on me ONLY and not on the group at all. IF there were a camera there documenting the making of PW, would it deter you from coming? Would it hinder your participation?

Please be honest–I’d rather have a good munch than good footage. Thank you!

RSVP with subject line “Book Club” to cunningminx@gmail.com or reply here so I know to look for you. Thanks!

Poly Weekly #146: Sexy Shenanigans!

The new Polyamory Weekly #146: Sexy Shenanigans! is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #146

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

1:50 Fun, Sexy Shenanigans!
Vincenza co-hosts today as we comment on sexy, silly articles!

  • Do you want to be a honey trapper? It’s a new take on detective agencies: honey trappers tempt spouses to see if they’ll cheat
  • 6:20 R sent in a fantastic new word in the Urban Dictionary: choreplay! Get turned on by watching your partner do your chores!
  • 7:30The Joy of Christian Sex Toys. Ever wonder what a Christian sex toy store would look like? Here it is!
  • 15:10Fighting with your spouse is good for your health–read the article here
  • 18:50 Did you know that Amelia Earhart had a prenuptual agreement specifying that they not be faithful to each other? See it here.

21:25 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

21:50 BEST OF POLY WEEKLY COLLECTIONS NOW AVAILABLE!
Visit PodDisc.com to purchase a collection of my ten favorite episodes of Poly Weekly. If you haven’t listened to the whole back catalogue, this is the disc for you!

Poly Weekly #142: LIVE from Arisia Sci-Fi

The new Polyamory Weekly #142: Live from the Arisia science-fiction convention is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #142

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

1:30 Announcements & Promo stuff

  • Next weekend, I’ll be hosting both a podcasting and polyamory panel at Conflation in Saint Louis. This year is a Firefly theme, and I can’t wait to try out my new Inara costume!
  • Next meeting of the Poly Weekly Book Club will be Wednesday, February 27th, 6:00-9:00 p.m. at the Center on Halsted, 2nd floor, white couches; we’ll be continuing our discussion of Ravenscroft’s Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and the Hopeful
  • Upcoming workshops: And Boyfriend/Girlfriend Makes Three: Negotiating Nonmonogamy, Saturday, February 23rd, noon-1:30 p.m., A Woman’s Touch in Madison; or Wednesday, March 19th, 6:00-7:30 in Milwaukee

  • 3:25 Promo for Nawashi, a novel of erotic magic, available from Podiobooks.com
  • The new Poly Weekly promo will be up in the feed next

  • We’re trying to get 100 reviews on iTunes; if you’d like, please review Poly Weekly by clicking here!
  • 5:30 Report: Poly Panels at the Arisia Science Fiction Convention
    Alan interviews Shava from a panel on being poly in a straight world; Michelle Wexelblack discusses poly-mono relationship; 14:00 Dr. Solomon Davidoff discusses the poly community compared to other subcultures; Alan talks about creating a temporary tribe

    17:50 Topic: Why Does My Spouse Irritate Me So Much?
    Minx discusses this article on marriage only getting worse–your spouse will end up annoying the heck outta you!

    21:45 Wrap-up
    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

    Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #128: Free Gift with New Purchase!

The new Polyamory Weekly #128: Free Gift with New Purchase! is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

1:20 Announcements

  • Check out the new LiveJournal community, Poly_german for German-speaking polys
  • Loving More is hosting a one-day hotel seminar on November 3rd at the Clarion Airport in the Bay Area

3:30 Topic: Free Gift with New Purchase
Minx and Steve Eley discuss the idea of free gift with new purchase. You know, that great bonus gift you get when companies are trying to woo you–free cosmetic bag, cheap cable, low introductory interest rates on your credit card? How about not treating your old partner like your credit card company treats you–great stuff when you first sign up, but nothing special after they’ve “got” you. How about a reward for loyal, existing customers? How come just the new, NRE relationship gets all the goodies? Steve shares how he rewards his wife with bonus stuff when he starts a new relationship with someone else. In short, here’s how to keep your existing partner from feeling like and old cable customer while your new partner gets all the goodies. And Chore Wars? Yeah.

22:30 Listener Feedback: the Four-Year Itch
Grizzly audio comments that the first four are the basis relationship and the next two are to see if it will work after; Minx comments that it should be about making a deliberate relationship choice instead of “forever” being the default; Steve says there should always be a check-in feature to relationships; Laura asks why get married at all then?; Minx rants that there are many things that are worth enjoying in life that don’t last forever, including:

  1. Your childhood
  2. Your grandmother
  3. Christmas dinner with your family
  4. That great pizza you had last night
  5. Firefly
  6. The New York Marathon
  7. Mardi Gras
  8. The first snowfall of the year
  9. Flowers
  10. Boobs

38:00 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

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