PW 418: Emotional abuse

How to recognize emotional abuse and support both survivors and perpetrators within the community survivelolcat

Download the mp3 directly

Update 2-20-15: Full transcript now available!  PW 418 Emotional abuse transcript

1:00 Host chat and announcements

I’ll be teaching Kicking Poly Drama in the Ass at Kinkfest 

1:45 Poly in the News

Suit filed to decriminalize unofficial gay marriages in Michigan

3:30 Interview: Emotional abuse

Shannon Perez-Darby, Youth Services Program Manager for The Northwest Network of Bisexual, Trans, Lesbian & Gay Survivors of Abuse, shares her advice on how to recognize abuse of all kinds and how to respond when you or someone you love might be surviving emotional abuse.

Emfett blog

34:30 Happy Poly Moment

Michael shares a lustful happy poly moment of seeing his spouse and his crush walking together

35:15 Thank you

Welcome GJ to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

36:00 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 417: Senior sex with Joan Price

Senior sex kitten Joan Price shares the secrets of sex over 50Joan Price

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Announcements

InfinityCon dates have changed to November.

1:45 Poly in the News

A ton of articles this week on how poly culture affects everyone. Poly in the News has a great roundup post, including an article on navigating poly relationships from the new dating site MeetMindfulness; 6 Reasons Why Sharing Your Boyfriend Will Boost Your Self-Esteem from a BlogHer blogger; This is the Explanation for Polyamory That Everyone Needs to Hear; and a TEDx talk on Polyamory and Emotional Literacy.

4:15 Interview: Joan Price on Senior Sex

Author and speaker Joan Price calls herself an “advocate for ageless sexuality.” She has been called other things by the media: “senior sexpert,” “the beautiful face of senior sex,” and—her favorite—”wrinkly sex kitten.” Visit Joan’s zesty, award-winning blog about sex and aging at www.NakedAtOurAge.com.

She talks to Poly Weekly about reviewing sex toys for people over 50 as well as considerations and solutions for sex in your fabulous golden years!

38:15 Feedback

M in Oregon writes in to say how great it was to hear from L on episode 414!

39:45 Happy Poly Moment

A listener calls in to claim she and her partner have found a unicorn (bisexual woman equally attracted to both partners simultaneously)

42:15 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 416: Growing up poly, the bad


Parentes_ama_familiam_cura
Three adults who grew up in polyamorous households speak out on their negative experiences of growing up poly

Download the mp3 directly

This is part two of a two-part series on the real experiences of growing up in a poly household. To hear the panel speak on their positive experiences of growing up in a polyamorous household, visit Episode 415: Growing up poly, the good

1:15 Announcements

infinitycon logo

I’ll be teaching 8 Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory and MORE at InfinityCon in Atlanta over Valentine’s Day weekend! And LustyGuy will be with me, moderating the poly/swinging panel and teaching rough body play techniques. Fun!

For ticket, hotel and scheduling info, visit www.infinitycon.net

2:30 Poly in the News

Alan has listed the top 22 national poly events in 2015. PLUS instructions on how to search for and find your local meetup group. No excuses for not finding your community!

3:35 Topic: Growing up poly, the bad

After last week’s panel on the positive effects of growing up in a poly household, Join Koe, Susie and Tiana as they share some of the negative effects it had on their upbringing, including being too trusting and open in the world.

24:40 Feedback

Haddyr insists that yes, teens and 20-somethings do in fact use “heteronormative” all the time!

25:55 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 415: Growing up poly, the good

funny-pictures-cats-teach-baby-to-drink-waterThree adults who grew up in polyamorous households speak out on their experiences of growing up poly

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Poly in the News

6:00 Topic: Growing up poly, the good

Join Koe, Susie and Tiana as they share what their poly households were like as they were growing up, how much they knew about their parents’ partners and the positive effects it had on their upbringing.

31:00 Happy Poly Moment

Renée shares a holiday HPM in which she and her two partners host the holiday meal for their families and friends!

33:30 Thank you!

Welcome Oliver to the Poly Weekly Playmates and thanks to K in Germany for the donation!

34:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 414: Meeting L!

lolcatpodcastA rare chance to hear L, LustyGuy’s wife and my metamour, speak on her brand of non-monogamy, jealousy and relationship longevity

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

2:35 Poly in the News

5:10 Topic: Meeting L

LustyGuy’s wife and my metamour L is persuaded to take the microphone to talk about her brand of non-monogamy, jealousy and her secrets for non-monogamous relationship longevity.

24:50 Feedback

  • Lillian calls in a caveat to the Discuss, Distract, Do model of dealing with jealousy in episode 398
  • Steve calls in an asterisk to handling freaking out

29:30 Happy Poly Moment

  • Sarah calls in to give advice on how to name two Sarahs that you are dating
  • KR gives an update on a crowded house living situation that is chaotic but still happy

32:45 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 413: Polly Superstar!

Poly in the news; an interview with Polly Superstar about her new memoir; More Than Two contest winners!

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Polly Superstar

Polly Superstar

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

Please take the PW listener survey!

1:45 Poly in the News

 6:15 Interview: Polly Superstar

She is the founder of San Francisco’s Mission Control, Kinky Salon and author of a new memoir, Polly: Sex Culture Revolutionary.

33:15 Feedback

Mandy writes in about episode 410: The World According to Gottman

36:30 More than Two winners!

Bianca, Susie and VeePoint called in to enter to win the signed copy of More Than Two. And the winner is: VeePoint! Email me so I can send you the book. J

45:00 Happy Poly Moment

GalliardGirl calls in to share a super fun happy poly moment!

47:35 Thank you!

Thanks to Badger for his donation, and welcome Brian to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

48:00 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Ask a polyamourous person

Buzzfeed just posted this fun, funny and factual video of the top questions asked of polyamorous people. And it’s already got over a million views. Less work for the rest of us educators to do! Well done!

If you’re interested, the Poly in the Media blog has posted the transcript.

PW 412: Relationship “rules” of order

funny_cats_lol_cats_earz_too_smallLustyGuy’s best practices for a long-term poly relationship

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

Please take the PW listener survey!

3:00 Poly in the News

Nick TV’s Degrassi introduces a polyamory plot line, sort of

5:15 Topic: Relationship “Rules” of Order from LustyGuy

Really “best practices” rather than “rules”

Getting Started

  • Assume goodwill among folks
  • Reasonable emotional intelligence is required—know how you feel, why you feel that way and be able to express both

What you need to do yourself

  • Know thyself
  • Be honest with yourself

Within the relationship

  • Give early notice to avoid surprises
  • Allow for “experience shock”
  • Never ask a question you can’t hear “no” to
  • If you reject a request, it’s your responsibility to make a counter-offer
  • Have regular relationship check-ins, “State of the Relationship” talks
  • Let your partners be the experts on themselves
  • What is important to your partner must also be at least a little important to you
  • If it hasn’t been agreed to, it isn’t (yet) so
  • Be partners, not parents
  • The negotiation process ultimately matters more than the outcome
  • A joint account requires consent of all contributors before spending
  • Pass the “conn” for kids/pets

27:30 Happy Poly Moment

  • Haddayr shares a super sweet happy poly moment with the 10-year-old!
  • Gabriel shares an HPM about communication about sexual preferences saving the day!

31:00 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 411: Poly for the holidays

lolcat1How to handle your bio family during the holidays, with advice from FBI hostage negotiators

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

10:15 Topic: Poly for the holidays

How do you handle the family during the holidays when you’re poly? A few tips:

19:30 Happy Poly Moment

Julia shares her story of falling for a gal and then a guy and choosing to be honest about what she wanted instead of dumping one for the other. And it turned out great!

22:00 Thanks

Thanks to Taylor and Igor for their donations and welcome Doug as the newest Poly Weekly Playmate!

23:00 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 410: The world according to Gottman

A biased review of psychologist John Gottman’s research on relationships

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Dr. John Gottman with his wife Julie

Dr. John Gottman with his wife Julie

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

9:40 Topic: The world according to John Gottman

John Gottman is a professor of psychology famous for his work on evaluating marital stability through direct observational data points.

  • Famous for being able to predict whether a couple will stay together (which he refutes, but he can compare data and give odds of success). For example, if more than 20% of your interactions with your partner are negative, it’s likely that something needs to be addressed in order to increase relationship longevity
  • Microexpressions Also famously researched microexpressions
  • Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • Accessible research Great marketer and beneficial for taking his research and making the data accessible to the public
  • Challenge: his data isn’t replicable outside his experiments
  • Making bids for connection Recent Business Week article on couples making and accepting bids for connection being a top trait of successful relationships
  • Anger research Master versus disaster model, in which masters use anger to demo emotional importance rather than using it to express contempt. He posits that even healthy couples fight and get angry and that anger is functional in marriage.
  • But be aware that Gottman’s work focuses on monogamy and heterosexual couples only and is not a proponent of polyamory.

30:00 Happy Poly Moment

Clare from London writes in to share her discovery of polyamory, her self-identify as poly and her hopes of applying it to her new relationship.

35:10 Thanks

Thanks to Taylor and Igor for their donations and welcome Doug as the newest Poly Weekly Playmate!

36:00 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Make a Donation

Poly Weekly Playmates!

Wanna play?
Poly Weekly blog award

Poly Weekly on Facebook

Poly Weekly on Twitter