By Cunning Minx, on March 13th, 2012%
 Franklin and Minx tackle the rule dilemma: do rules work in poly relationships?
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Introduction
Under 18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen.
1:00 News and host chat
 7:00 Topic: Rules? We don’t need no stinkin’ rules!
Guest cohost Franklin Veaux has written extensively on why rules don’t work in poly relationships. And I agree; rules tend to be a substitute for actual communication and a fairly powerless shield against insecurity. Why most poly rules don’t work and advice on what to do instead of creating hard and fast rules.
38:10 Thanks
To Charlie for the $69 donation. We love that amount!
Wrap up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email?  Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on March 7th, 2012%
 Does one have to self-identify as poly in advance of a situation in order for polyamory to work?
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Introduction
1:00 News and host chat
2:00 Topic: Poly by Orientation vs Poly by Situation
Should I be poly? This question is often asked, and a recent BlogHer essay questioning whether monogamy is the ultimate form of love or a restraint on one’s sexual freedom is better brought up the question: is polyamory a solution to a relationship with no intimacy?
- Is poly of zero benefit to a monogamous-identified partner of someone who would like to be poly?
- Does “Poly by Situation” ever work?
- 11:20 What is required for a Poly by Situation effort to work out: every partner is fully committed, everyone voices their fears and doubts at every turn, no veto power
13:15 Feedback
26:30 Wrap up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on February 27th, 2012%
 Sex addiction as a celebrity diagnosis is all the rage. But is it real?
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Introduction
1:00 News and host chat
5:00 Interview: the Myth of Sex Addiction
Dr. David Ley is a clinical psychologist and the author of a new book on sex addiction to be released next week!
- First book was Insatiable Wives about permissive female infidelity and the hotwife lifestyle
- Why the book was necessary
- Is “sex addiction” just a label for celebrities who have more sex than me?
- If sex is a biological imperative, how can it be an addiction?
- Why has this arisen in our culture now, this idea that people can be addicted to sex? What brought this about?
- TigressBooks asks: but is this behavior typical of alpha male? Not pathological, but personality type?
- Nissyen asks: there are lots of compulsive behaviors. Does sex gets the addiction label because it’s so culturally taboo to be promiscuous?
- Irish8m asks: isnt any action/behavior done to a degree that pushes other aspects of life out of balance an “addiction,” including sex?
References: the History of Nymphomania
39:00 Happy Poly Moment
- Kit shares a happy poly moment about his wife getting a date she wanted
- Funny poly moment from Clint and Kat in New Zealand
44:00 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on February 20th, 2012%
 Being poly in America February 2012–how did the world treat nonmonogamy this Valentine’s Day?
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Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:00 News and host chat
- Thanks for your patience with the audio—think we’ve fixed it
4:20 Topic: Being poly in February 2012 for Valentine’s Day
Poly in the media and how love and relationships are being viewed for this year’s Valentine’s Day.
22:10 Feedback
- Musqurat calls in to correct my assertion that the word “polyamory” was coined by Morning Glory Zell. In fact, she used the word “polyamorous;” the word “polyamory” was first used by Jennifer Wesp in the Usenet group in 1992.
- Fred writes in to share that he found his identity as a monoamorist who likes occasional play with others.
25:10 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on February 6th, 2012%
What are the differences between polyamory and polygamy?
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Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:00 Announcements and Host chat
10:10 Topic: Polyamory vs Polygamy
First, there is a great rundown of polyamory, including an interview with several poly enclaves, in the Winnipeg Free Press. That article on polyamory vs polygamy: “Polyamoury, for the record, is quite distinct from polygamy, which, thanks to TV shows such as the fictional drama Big Love and the reality series Sister Wives, people tend to associate with fundamentalist Mormons who practise plural marriage… Polyamorous relationships are post-modern, secular, egalitarian and consensual.”
Next, check out this Slate article asking whether polygamy as it is traditionally practiced is good for society and does acknowledge “traditional polygamy is a pre-modern institution with religious and patriarchal roots.”
Minx’s take on the five primary differences between traditional polygamy and modern polyamory:
- Motive: Polyamory has no organized religion or government sanctioning it. Polyamory represents an alternative subculture, so it tends to be characterized by a thoughtful process of self-structuring rather than adopting a model prescribed by religion or the state.
- Power structure: Polyamory has less tendency toward patriarchy. The pioneers of the poly movement have primarily been women, and there is a generally-accepted undercurrent of egalitarianism (apart from D/s relationships). It’s not unusual for a woman to be the head of the household and the point of the romantic/sexual vee.
- Acceptance of diversity: More sexual orientations are welcome. Those practicing polyamory are more likely to welcome gay, bi, lesbian, queer and transgendered folks rather than condemn them. There is an acceptance of the value of diversity of sexual preferences and sexual needs.
- Full consent of all parties involved. Some may disagree, but I would argue that both religion and state sponsorship hinder full consent.
- Lots of communication and negotiation. Since polyamory is not a given and has no prescribed models, everything can and must be negotiated.
25:10 Feedback
- John called in to encourage folks to do the work and take the time to become proficient at being poly, just as one would practice for hours to become a virtuoso in any field.
- Andy from Michigan shared a gradual coming out story that has lead to his family slowly accepting his and his wife’s OSO.
31:45 Wrap up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on January 30th, 2012%
 Signs that you might be poly
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Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:00 News
- Our polyamory disaster – tale of swinging, casual sex, non-monogamy, insecurity, lack of communication and lots of drugs – wonder why it didn’t work out
- Introverts Guide to Networking – Written for business, but great for introverts who are into poly and easily overwhelmed in social situations
- Polyamory and the slippery slope – arguing against the slippery slope argument against legalizing gay marriage because it could lead to legalization of poly marriage
8:45 Topic: You might be poly if…
Thanks to all our listeners who responded on Twitter and Facebook to complete this sentence! My favorite responses:
- You have to check three different calendars before you can say yes to a “do you wanna go get a cup of coffee?”
- For the holidays you have an easier time thinking of presents for your boyfriend’s partner than for your boyfriend
- You have run out of colors for your sweethearts on your Google calendar
- You keep a spreadsheet of boundaries
- You and your husband’s boyfriend both remind the waiter not to put parmesan on his spaghetti
- You get genuine pleasure from someone else’s happiness
13:25 Feedback
- J and A ask about the hotwife lifestyle with two questions: did other poly folks find poly through hotwife? And men with a hot wife kink often get off learning intimate details or watching their partner play. From listening to past episodes, we can’t determine if this is uncommon or just rarely discussed in poly circles? (Answer: it’s always discussed whether you want to watch and how much you want to know about sexual activities)
- Olaf asks about pre-poly signals—has anyone noticed poly tendencies in retrospect?
20:10 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on January 17th, 2012%
 Kathy Labriola, nurse, therapist and author of Love in Abundance, offers poly communication tips
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Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:00 Announcements
7:30 Interview: Kathy Labriola
Kathy Labriola, a poly counselor, nurse and hypnotherapist and author of Love in Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships (also available at Greenery Press)
- Essential communication skills include things like knowing what you need and communicating it directly (as soon as you know it). Why is this so hard?
- What is metacommunication and why is it important?
- What is at the heart of most poly communication breakdowns?
- Why do we worry so much about jealousy and what is your advice on dealing with it?
36:25 Thanks
Thanks to H Opportunity, Brendan, Maui Kink for their donations and welcome CainO and Lisa to the Poly Weekly Playmates!
Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on January 17th, 2012%
Hello, guys!
Thanks to those of you who let me know that the PW Android app disappeared from the marketplace. I’ve talked to the guys at LibSyn, and they are working to get it reinstated. In the meantime, you can get the Android app from Amazon here: ht.ly/8vyK7
Thanks and stay tuned–I’ll let you know when the app is back up in the marketplace.
By Cunning Minx, on January 3rd, 2012%
 How to approach someone for a threesome or one-on-one date
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Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:00 Announcements
7:45 Topic: The metamour approach
- Elizabeth asks how to approach the invite for a threesome with a good friend without ruining the friendship. Minx’s advice: treat it the same way you would approaching a mono friend you have romantic feelings for but don’t want to ruin the friendship. Flirt, state your desires, graciously accept a “no.”
- Proff asks if he’s weird for wanting to meet his partner’s OK Cupid date on their first meeting. Minx’s take: How would you feel if you’d been flirting with a girl and, when you went to pick her up, her whole family came out to size you up? A bit off-putting for the poor guy! It’s best to trust your partner to date someone as ethically as she dated you. Keep in touch and meet him after a few dates.
17:05 Feedback – Episode 297, Poly for the holidays
- P wrote in to tell how her kid surmised the relationship, asked about it, and they pleasantly confirmed
- Lily from Boston requests more solid advice on dealing with kids for the holidays – who has good advice for her? (None of our cohosts have kids!)
- Chauncey says thanks!
21:25 Thanks
Thanks to Scott, Kelly, Carlita, Scott and new Poly Weekly Playmate Paul!
Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
By Cunning Minx, on November 21st, 2011%
 What is the difference between an open relationship and a polyamorous one?
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Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:00 Host chat
- We have new monthly subscriber donation options! Coffee buddies at $1.99/month, Friend with benefits at $4.99/month and Anchor at $9.99/month. Just choose a PW Playmate option to the right of this entry and hit the big yellow Subscribe button. >>>>>>>
- Marvin is our first Anchor subscriber. W00t!
- We’ve created a Poly Weekly Google+ page. Add us to your Circles for poly, geek and kinky updates.
- Thanks to GaggleAmp promoters for reTweeting us last week!
- Enough promotion! Geeks, beware: Cheezburger has launched a geek version of the site, Set Phasers to LOL (think LOLcats but with Star Trek) and more!
8:00 Topic: What is the difference between an open relationship and polyamory?
Thanks to listener Donner (?) for calling this one in. Both open relationships and polyamory are ways of practicing non-mongamy. The main difference is that an “open relationship” tends to assume a couple at the base, whereas “polyamorous” can describe both a lifestyle and a personal philosophy or orientation. I.e., I’m single and poly, but I couldn’t be single and in an open relationship. Additionally, polyamory tends to have “multiple long-term, committed relationships with the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved,” while open relationships are more loosely defined.
Also, while we’re at it, let’s define polygamy, polygyny, polyandry and polyfidelity! Franklin Veaux has a well-researched glossary of terms if you are ever in doubt.
17:00 Happy Poly Moment
Mark shares a happy poly moment at the birth of his child.
18:15 Feedback
- Scott comments on changing the negative victim-minded behavior patterns mentioned in episode 293 and suggests theater and other subcultures for the football-loving poly guy
- Kevin says thanks and asks about a Poly Weekly meetup at Burning Man in 2012 (yes if we can!)
- Josh shares a lovely story of patience and communication and how it lead to a wonderful exploration of spanking and polyamory
25:45 Thanks
Thanks to Marvin and Sarah, our first PW Anchor monthly subscribers! We hope we can do you proud! And to Eric for his donation.
26:30 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
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