PW 354: Wife Swap

When a poly family swaps wives with a right-wing family on a reality TV show, who comes off better?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • LustyGuy is cohosting!

2:00 Topic: Polyamory on Wife Swap

On the reality TV show Wife Swamp, a polyamorous family swapped wives (not sexual, just lifestyle) with a right-wing religious family. Who came off better? Across the board, reviewers agree it was the poly family!

31:50 Happy Poly Moment

Dominic from Wisconsin calls in to share a moment in which life rewards courage!

35:00 Feedback: Episode 350

  • AggieSez calls in to let us know about unmarried equality
  • Frank writes in to ask why there are any tax benefits at all to marriage
  • Jason comments that we should have marriage be defined by the individuals involved, not the government
  • S shares her situation in which she lives with partners and then married one, which brought up conflicting emotions regarding the other relationship. No answers, but she poses some great questions.
  • Edward reminds us about marriage in the Roman Empire.

46:00 Thank you

Thanks to Marshall, Isabelle, Denise and Kerra for their donations this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 332: The reality behind Showtime’s polyamory

An interview with Anthony and Vanessa on the reality process behind Showtime’s Polyamory: Married and Dating

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1:00 News and host chat

  • I’ll be giving Content Creation for the Online Activist at CatalystCon September 14-16 in Long Beach

3:00 Interview: Anthony and Vanessa from Polyamory: Married and Dating

  • Anthony Christofani

    How long have you identified as poly and how did you come into it?

    • Anthony was always poly before he knew the word; Vanessa came to it from cheating.
  • Why did you decide to put your personal and sex lives on TV?
    • No one else raised their hands!
  • Did you have messaging goals going in and if so, are they being met?
    • Starting the conversation about an alternative to monogamy and the possibility of a functional, intimate relationship with more than one person
    • Coming across as happy and healthy
  • What was not included?
    • The rest of our lives: they cut out pretty much everything but the relationship (jobs, school, political activism, family issues)
  • What’s with all the sex scenes?
    • Vanessa posits that the sex shown is loving group sex, which is new
  • How do you respond to the community criticism regarding the lack of diversity in casting?

    Vanessa Carlisle

    • The show is limited to the few people willing to put their lives on TV, and there were attempts to show diversity, but none of those people agreed to be on the show
  • How much of the show is staged?
    • Yes and no to the staging question. They are not told to say anything in particular, but filming is scheduling in advance.
  • What do you want the polys and monogamous folks of the world to know?
    • Monogamous: thanks for the open-mindedness
    • Poly: thanks for the support and remember that we only represent ourselves; this is just the first foray

35:00 Feedback: how do I convey jealousy to my partner without him off?

A writes in to ask for advice. Her new partner was previously monogamous, and when A has occasional bouts of jealousy and insecurity, the new partner will just end the new relationship to make it easier on A. “How can I go about asking for the care I need without scaring him off?”

  • Edward: tell him you’re feeling jealous and explain it’s not a call to action
  • Ken: communicate the feeling of insecurity and ask him to help you understand it
  • Sarah: just say how you feel and reassure your partner that they don’t need to act
  • Scott: African masks and a voodoo ritual (to scare your partner off)?
  • Becky: admit feelings to yourself first and admit they aren’t rational; say “I don’t need you to change what you’re doing, but I just wanted you to know what is going on”
  • Dave: preface with “I feel kinda dumb bringing this up, but…” and share your feelings
  • Gigi: preface with “I realize this is really more about me and not about the situation… “ and share your feelings
  • Andrew: be responsible for your feelings and express them so that it’s clear to your partner that you know you are responsible
  • Lindsay: communicate root of your jealousy clearly and own your feelings

42:00 Thanks

Thanks to Joan for the donation this week!

43:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


PW 329: “Reality” polyamory on Showtime

Showtime’s new reality show Polyamory: Married and Dating. Is it as good as we want or as bad as we fear?

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:30 News and host chat

  • Wanna go to Burning Man? We are raffling off a ticket in July as a fundraiser to send Minx to CatalystCon! For every $10 donation here, you’ll get one raffle entry. On July 31 (tomorrow!) we’ll draw and announce the winner of the ticket to Burning Man 2012! Void where prohibited.
  • LustyGuy will be giving a talk on Punching, Slapping and Kicking, Oh My! at Paradise, August 11.

5:00 Topic: Showtime’s new reality show on polyamory

Showtime has a new reality show called Polyamory: Married and Dating. It follows a triad and a quad and the conversations, conflicts and undercover action they experience. But is it any good?

What do we think? LustyGuy admires the craft and believes it fits the genre and audience expectations for Showtime After Dark perfectly. Minx (not a fan of reality TV in general) finds the characters accessible, far more so than anyone portrayed in Big Love or Sister Wives. While many of the characters annoy her personally and don’t impress her with their low level of emotional intelligence, the show is a far more accurate portrayal of polyamory than anything we’ve seen in the mainstream so far, and many of the characters do model good communication skills and emotionally intelligent behavior.

And special thanks to Scott Campbell for making it possible for us to view the episodes!

42:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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