Poly Weekly #194: How to Have a Happy Relationship, Pt. 2

This week Poly Weekly #194: How to Have a Happy Relationship, Part 2.

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements
Clarisse Thorn‘s Sex Positive film series is still going strong; upcoming events:

  • Tuesday March 3, 7.30 PM: Cheap Sex workshop at Early to Bed — $15, or $10 for students and low-income
  • Tuesday March 10, 7 PM: “BDSM: It’s Not What You Think!” and other short S&M documentaries at Sex+++

4:05 Further relationship musings with Tacit
Minx asks how to learn from the ending of a relationship; Minx and Tacit talk about honesty in your relationship;
(minx is way hot with the glasses…-fs)
Minx talks about how we present ourselves; Minx asks Tacit for further observations since he wrote his article; Tacit brings up how some people have legitimate reasons for not fully coming out with everything about themselves. Tacit talks about how important it is to be honest with the person you are forming stronger relationships with. If you are dating somebody, you should tell them you are poly. Minx and Tacit talk about methods of broaching being poly with potential dates.

20:30 Happy Poly Moment of the Week
Goose wrote in with a happy valentine moment.

22:00 Listener Feedback
Amul wrote in and ranted about his friends who do not understand polyamory.

A caller talks about episode 164 and how relationships are measured as succesful.

Lorin wrote in about episode 191, feast of love. He tells a story about his break up.

Galahad also wrote in about episode 191.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly book club meets WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4th

Ready to discuss relationships this time? Let’s take some advice from a monogamist!

Gottman's Seven Principles for Making  a Marriage Work

When: Wednesday, March 4th, 6:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.
Where: Lidos Caffe, 122 N. Marion Street, Oak Park, IL
What: hearty discussion of relationships among poly and poly-friendly folks

Please RSVP so we know to look for you–we usually meet in the back room. See y’all there!

Poly Weekly #187: Is he not that into me?

This week Poly Weekly #187: Is he not that into me?.

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements

11:30 Happy Poly Moment of the Week
Hamilton wrote in to talk about his great New Years Eve with his two lovers and lots of wine.

12:10 Is He Not Into me?
Krista wrote in through facebook and told her story. She is in a situation where maybe one of her lovers is not really into her. Krista wants to know, what does that concept mean to poly people? Minx gives her impressions of the book “He Is Not Really Into You.”; Minx talks about how different relationships are different and that is OK. Poly has benefits that monogamy doesn’t have. If one person does not fulfill all our needs, we look for those needs in another. A relationship will fall to its own level.

20:15 Feedback
CJ wrote in and recommended Joe Haldeman, The World Series; Pechu Jay called and thanked Minx and judges for choosing her picture for Pimp Your Boobs; Stewart from Kansas City called in with his props for the podcast and his thoughts on massage.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #178: Five Things to Say on a Date

This week Poly Weekly #178:Five Things to Say on a Date.

Download the episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

(burlycon kicked my ass so I am way behind on shownotes.  Lets see if we can fix that.)

8:30 10 Things Not To Say On A First Date
Minx goes through the list talking about what she agrees with and what she disagrees with.

17:26 5 Things To Say On A First Date&lt
Minx has created a list of things to say on a first date.  She walks us through each one of these.
SeroLynne’s blog entry on how to start a group
www.burlycon.com
New Dublin munch
Expansive Loving group
ZA poly South African munch
Stitcher Radio iphone app
Podcast Awards

10 Things Not to Say on a First Date

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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Poly Weekly Book Club: Pagan Polyamory

Thanks to everyone who came out last night. We had 13 people, including some new faces, all hotly discussing issues brought up in Jenny Block’s book Open: Love and Sex in an Open Marriage. Plus, we created a new word:

kalosexual–those who get turned on by honesty!

Use it; love it; spread it around!

When: Wednesday, November 5th, 6:00 p.m.
Where: Lido’s Caffe, 122 N Marion St, Oak Park (near Harlem Green
line stop, street and lot parking available) , at the back room
What: Raven Kaldera’s Pagan Polyamory

Pagan Polyamory

Please come out to chat even if you haven’t read the book; we always have interesting discussions!

Please RSVP so we’ll know to expect you; thanks!

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Poly Weekly #166: “Okay” is a four-letter word

Poly Weekly #166: “Okay” is a four-letter word

Download this episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

4:20 this topic came up from some conversations Minx had with people.

4:39 “OK” “fine” are both evil.  Get ready for a rant….

4:55 Minx brings up a scenario demonstrating how “OK” doesn’t provide information, instead it begs many questions.

7:11 If you are asking a new person out and you have a current partner, you will need to expect them to meet.

8:30 Minx talks about how tough it is for secondaries ending up mixing it up with somebody or both people from a couple and the challenges that go with that.

11:50 Your new relationships need some TLC as well.

12:08 Some advice for the Metamour.  Don’t use the word “OK.”  Say something like “I really enjoy watching Steve doing X” as one example.

14:45 In conclusion, don’t use “OK”!

16:00 Miss Poly Manners gives us some advice on how to fit new partners into your busy life.

20:18 SAS comments on episode 150.  He was trying to find the same love as his first love until he realized it was ok if they are different.

21:30 Molly from Oregon called in about a new book called “How to Ruin A Perfectly Good Relationship” by Pat Love and Sunny Shulkin. zeigtucker.com

25:13 Michael called in about the interview with Tacit telling us his polyamory story.

26:45 Kay mailed in response to episode #154 “Metamour Relations” and asked about how much affection is ok in front of metamours.  Kay would love to hear some feedback from the listeners.

32:15 Maverick calls in to talk about frubble. He wants to know if anybody else has what you might call “reverse frubble”  anger at somebody hurting the ones you love.
Beki Rosenthal
Mistress Matisse’s latest Control Tower

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #164: Ten Poly-Do’s

Direct download of Poly Weekly #164: Ten Poly Do’s

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

4:21 Pete posted his personal guidelines for a happy poly relationship.  Not rules of what you can’t do, but things you should do.

  1. Love is infinite, but not resources
  2. Be honest with yourself
  3. set your boundaries, and respect others
  4. Avoid drama!
  5. Be aware of how you are spending your rescources
  6. Slow the fuck down!
  7. When you fail pick yourself up and move on

7:58 Minx’s Guidelines:

  1. I am responsible for my own happiness
  2. Enjoy love as long as you have it.
  3. My time is a limited resource.
  4. Have the courage to say no.
  5. Self-Knowledge is invaluable. (wait, this is number one)
  6. Embrace communication with your loves and their loves.
  7. Welcome change.
  8. Avoid drama.
  9. Never forget to ask “how do you define sex”
  10. Long distance relationships suck

11:40 Listener Feedback
DDog makes a comment about succesful poly relationships and calling Doctor Laura with information on them.  She disagrees that it takes length to define a succesful relationship.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Share this with a friend!  Write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly Book Club

It’s that time again!

Poly Weekly Book Club meets tomorrow, Wednesday, July 2nd! We’re discussing Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up, but please come on out even if you haven’t read the book; the discussion will undoubtedly be lively!

Where: The Center on Halsted, 3656 N. Halsted, 2nd floor on the white couches
When: Wednesday, July 2nds, 6:00-9:00 p.m.
Who: anyone interested in poly who wants to discuss this great new book!

Can’t make it? Join our online discussion on Saturday, July 12th at 3:30 p.m. Central. You’ll need Skype (available for free), then just click the link at that time!

Poly Weekly #154: Metamour Relations

The new Polyamory Weekly #154: Metamour Relations is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #154

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

1:00 Host Chat
Poly Weekly book club’s discussion of Eros, a Journey of Multiple Loves; hmmm why not start a PW movie club? And then we got derailed and began discussing today’s topic, metamour relations.

2:40 Announcement
Broom Street Theater in Madison, Wisconsin has put on a stage interpretation of The Ethical Slut, which runs through June 8th

3:00 Roundtable: Metamour Relations
Alan’s metamour not only spoke with him but loaned him instructive books; Chris and his family tend to meet people as friends first, anyway
5:30 What does “friend” level entail in the case of metamours
7:15 dealing with awkwardness of meeting metamours for the first time; forcing a friendship; openness, trust and respect is required, like in a business relationship
12:30 dealing with a metamour you don’t trust; Buffy and Faith as metamours finally finding a way to connect
18:00 how does a metamour come in to an existing dynamic? whose job is it to work on the weirdness?
23:00 communication styles
26:30 how can we make it easier on secondaries coming in? how much responsibility goes to the “hinge” between current and new partner
34:00 knowing how you want to be treated and communicating that; dealing with NRE and how much time/energy you put into it; knowing the existing partners’ dynamic

40:30 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #151: Can you love two at once?

The new Polyamory Weekly #151: Can You Love Two at Once is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #151

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

1:30 Host Chat
Looking forward to Sex 2.0 conference; introducing Alan’s segment from the Poly Living conference

3:30 Topic: Can you love two at once?
This stems from a Dear Abby question from a woman who says she is in love with two people at once and wonders if that is possible–just asking the question in this way shows progress. And Abby’s response isn’t too bad–she begins by saying that you can love two people for different reasons. She then shows her monogamous bias, but the openness with which the question is addressed shows a marked difference from past responses.

7:50 Report: Poly Living Conference
Alan of the Poly in the Media blog took a voice recorder to the Poly Living conference and brought us along for the ride!
9:00 Anita Wagner discusses her workshop on jealousy; she recommends communication, education and owning one’s own jealousy
11:20 Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio discusses her workshop on bisexuality; Alan asks about being “bisensual” or “bi-intimate” without being bisexual
14:45 Michel Z talks about being more honest in relationships and when not to be 100% honest
16:15 C.T. Butler discusses the consensus decision-making process as a formal model for decision-making within a poly family; cooperation rather than competition
18:30 Deborah Anapol, the conference’s keynote speaker, points out that we need to live outside our conditioning and take charge of our own relationship decisions
Alan applauds that Loving More stepped in to take over the conference after George Marvil’s death–quit giving to the tobacco corporations, go to PolyLiving.org for next year’s conference; check LovingMore for their east and west coast retreats in the meatime

21:15 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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