Poly Weekly 232: Who gets to be the primary?

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements
Poly Weekly iPhone app with PDF show notes and audio extras is available now!

Cohosts
Joreth
Franklin Veaux
Pepper

Topic: who gets to be the primary?
Discussion of why the question is asked, why it’s important (or not) and what “primary” actually means

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly #227: Black Box Republic

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

Interview: Sam and April of Black Box Republic

Sam Lawrence and April talk about the inspiration for hip new sex-positive dating site Black Box Republic, how it came to be, and who should join and why.

****SPECIAL OFFER FOR PW LISTENERS: Use code radiobbr for 30 days FREE!****

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly #200: What I’ve Learned about Poly

This week’s Poly Weekly #1200: what I’ve learned about poly from doing Poly Weekly for four years–and what you’ve learned!.

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0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements
PenguiCon is May 1-3 at the Crowne Plaza hotel in Romulus, Michigan

Topic: What I’ve Learned
What I’ve learned from doing Poly Weekly for 200 episodes:

  • I worry too much about being “really” poly instead of just being me and happy
  • Labels can annoy and frustrate
  • I am defensive about being secondary because I’ve never been openly welcomed into an existing relationship–something I hope to experience one day
  • how to better deal with introverts
  • how to be courageous in arguments
  • how to be courageous with metamours

What I still need to learn:

  • how to be less intense with metamours
  • how to open up and love again
  • how to balance personal life with activism

What You’ve Learned

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #194: How to Have a Happy Relationship, Pt. 2

This week Poly Weekly #194: How to Have a Happy Relationship, Part 2.

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0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements
Clarisse Thorn‘s Sex Positive film series is still going strong; upcoming events:

  • Tuesday March 3, 7.30 PM: Cheap Sex workshop at Early to Bed — $15, or $10 for students and low-income
  • Tuesday March 10, 7 PM: “BDSM: It’s Not What You Think!” and other short S&M documentaries at Sex+++

4:05 Further relationship musings with Tacit
Minx asks how to learn from the ending of a relationship; Minx and Tacit talk about honesty in your relationship;
(minx is way hot with the glasses…-fs)
Minx talks about how we present ourselves; Minx asks Tacit for further observations since he wrote his article; Tacit brings up how some people have legitimate reasons for not fully coming out with everything about themselves. Tacit talks about how important it is to be honest with the person you are forming stronger relationships with. If you are dating somebody, you should tell them you are poly. Minx and Tacit talk about methods of broaching being poly with potential dates.

20:30 Happy Poly Moment of the Week
Goose wrote in with a happy valentine moment.

22:00 Listener Feedback
Amul wrote in and ranted about his friends who do not understand polyamory.

A caller talks about episode 164 and how relationships are measured as succesful.

Lorin wrote in about episode 191, feast of love. He tells a story about his break up.

Galahad also wrote in about episode 191.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly book club meets WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4th

Ready to discuss relationships this time? Let’s take some advice from a monogamist!

Gottman's Seven Principles for Making  a Marriage Work

When: Wednesday, March 4th, 6:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.
Where: Lidos Caffe, 122 N. Marion Street, Oak Park, IL
What: hearty discussion of relationships among poly and poly-friendly folks

Please RSVP so we know to look for you–we usually meet in the back room. See y’all there!

Poly Weekly #187: Is he not that into me?

This week Poly Weekly #187: Is he not that into me?.

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements

11:30 Happy Poly Moment of the Week
Hamilton wrote in to talk about his great New Years Eve with his two lovers and lots of wine.

12:10 Is He Not Into me?
Krista wrote in through facebook and told her story. She is in a situation where maybe one of her lovers is not really into her. Krista wants to know, what does that concept mean to poly people? Minx gives her impressions of the book “He Is Not Really Into You.”; Minx talks about how different relationships are different and that is OK. Poly has benefits that monogamy doesn’t have. If one person does not fulfill all our needs, we look for those needs in another. A relationship will fall to its own level.

20:15 Feedback
CJ wrote in and recommended Joe Haldeman, The World Series; Pechu Jay called and thanked Minx and judges for choosing her picture for Pimp Your Boobs; Stewart from Kansas City called in with his props for the podcast and his thoughts on massage.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #178: Five Things to Say on a Date

This week Poly Weekly #178:Five Things to Say on a Date.

Download the episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

(burlycon kicked my ass so I am way behind on shownotes.  Lets see if we can fix that.)

8:30 10 Things Not To Say On A First Date
Minx goes through the list talking about what she agrees with and what she disagrees with.

17:26 5 Things To Say On A First Date&lt
Minx has created a list of things to say on a first date.  She walks us through each one of these.
SeroLynne’s blog entry on how to start a group
www.burlycon.com
New Dublin munch
Expansive Loving group
ZA poly South African munch
Stitcher Radio iphone app
Podcast Awards

10 Things Not to Say on a First Date

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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Poly Weekly Book Club: Pagan Polyamory

Thanks to everyone who came out last night. We had 13 people, including some new faces, all hotly discussing issues brought up in Jenny Block’s book Open: Love and Sex in an Open Marriage. Plus, we created a new word:

kalosexual–those who get turned on by honesty!

Use it; love it; spread it around!

When: Wednesday, November 5th, 6:00 p.m.
Where: Lido’s Caffe, 122 N Marion St, Oak Park (near Harlem Green
line stop, street and lot parking available) , at the back room
What: Raven Kaldera’s Pagan Polyamory

Pagan Polyamory

Please come out to chat even if you haven’t read the book; we always have interesting discussions!

Please RSVP so we’ll know to expect you; thanks!

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Poly Weekly #166: “Okay” is a four-letter word

Poly Weekly #166: “Okay” is a four-letter word

Download this episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

4:20 this topic came up from some conversations Minx had with people.

4:39 “OK” “fine” are both evil.  Get ready for a rant….

4:55 Minx brings up a scenario demonstrating how “OK” doesn’t provide information, instead it begs many questions.

7:11 If you are asking a new person out and you have a current partner, you will need to expect them to meet.

8:30 Minx talks about how tough it is for secondaries ending up mixing it up with somebody or both people from a couple and the challenges that go with that.

11:50 Your new relationships need some TLC as well.

12:08 Some advice for the Metamour.  Don’t use the word “OK.”  Say something like “I really enjoy watching Steve doing X” as one example.

14:45 In conclusion, don’t use “OK”!

16:00 Miss Poly Manners gives us some advice on how to fit new partners into your busy life.

20:18 SAS comments on episode 150.  He was trying to find the same love as his first love until he realized it was ok if they are different.

21:30 Molly from Oregon called in about a new book called “How to Ruin A Perfectly Good Relationship” by Pat Love and Sunny Shulkin. zeigtucker.com

25:13 Michael called in about the interview with Tacit telling us his polyamory story.

26:45 Kay mailed in response to episode #154 “Metamour Relations” and asked about how much affection is ok in front of metamours.  Kay would love to hear some feedback from the listeners.

32:15 Maverick calls in to talk about frubble. He wants to know if anybody else has what you might call “reverse frubble”  anger at somebody hurting the ones you love.
Beki Rosenthal
Mistress Matisse’s latest Control Tower

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #164: Ten Poly-Do’s

Direct download of Poly Weekly #164: Ten Poly Do’s

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

4:21 Pete posted his personal guidelines for a happy poly relationship.  Not rules of what you can’t do, but things you should do.

  1. Love is infinite, but not resources
  2. Be honest with yourself
  3. set your boundaries, and respect others
  4. Avoid drama!
  5. Be aware of how you are spending your rescources
  6. Slow the fuck down!
  7. When you fail pick yourself up and move on

7:58 Minx’s Guidelines:

  1. I am responsible for my own happiness
  2. Enjoy love as long as you have it.
  3. My time is a limited resource.
  4. Have the courage to say no.
  5. Self-Knowledge is invaluable. (wait, this is number one)
  6. Embrace communication with your loves and their loves.
  7. Welcome change.
  8. Avoid drama.
  9. Never forget to ask “how do you define sex”
  10. Long distance relationships suck

11:40 Listener Feedback
DDog makes a comment about succesful poly relationships and calling Doctor Laura with information on them.  She disagrees that it takes length to define a succesful relationship.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Share this with a friend!  Write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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