PW 408: Time enough for love?

lolcatnotamusedAm I just secondary or is he not that into me?

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1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

Topic: Am I just secondary or is he not that into me?

A listener writes in with a concern that her partner doesn’t seem to have time or focused attention for her. She and he are both married and have been dating about seven months, but he rarely initiates contact and hasn’t yet arranged for them to have intimate time together. His wife says things are fine. Is this just how secondaries are treated, she asks, or does the lack of time spent together mean he is he not that into me?

  • What would monogamists do? Would you have been OK with this level of intimacy in any other relationship?
  • Being poly doesn’t mean a lack of emotional intimacy
  • The only thing that matters is whether it works for YOU
  • Ask for what you want

Happy Poly Moment

  • Sarah shares a lovely happy poly moment about a new metamour reaching out to her
  • G shares a happy poly moment about going to a film festival with two lovers and having them there to provide support during a triggering moment

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 331: The scheduling dance

How to manage a poly dating schedule without stepping on toes

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1:00 News and host chat

  • LustyGuy cohosts
  • I’ll be giving Content Creation for the Online Activist at CatalystCon September 14-16 in Long Beach

2:45 Topic: The schedule dance

Herbalwise calls in to ask best practices for coordinating schedules with a new partner while being considerate of the existing partner. If you can’t do a regular date night because of kids and whatnot, how do you grab time while remaining considerate of the life partner?

  • Question: why can’t dates be scheduled?
  • Question: why are you hesitating to speak to your life partner about dates and scheduling?
  • LustyGuy points out the importance of time budgeting
  • Minx recommends the three C’s of poly dating:
    • Clarity – be clear about what you want, need and will accept
    • Calendar – used shared calendars (Google is popular)
    • Communication – communicate with all parties before, during and after dates as needs shift and change
  • Recommendations from listeners via Facebook, Twitter and Google+ include:
    • Shared Google calendars and unlimited texting plans
    • Only have as many partners as you can handle and schedule time-wise
    • Schedule some events long in advance and leave blocks of time open for serendipitous meetings with lovers
    • Overlapping social circles, group dates and double dates
    • Teuxdeux for tasks

33:00 Happy Poly Moment

DDom shares joy in discovering a close community via FetLife.

37:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


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