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1:00 Announcements and Host Chat
- LustyGuy and I will be teaching 8 Things and Kicking Poly Drama at Leather Reign October 18th
- Marcia Baczynski will be in SEATTLE and teaching Asking for What you Want Oct 11
- And hosting a Seattle Cuddle Party on Oct 10
- Check out Black and Poly blog!
5:35 Topic: Is he poly or just chicken?
S writes in to ask what to do. She’s been dating a guy for five months who has another girlfriend of 10 months. But S has found that she wants to move in with the guy and be his primary, and he purports to secretly agree with her plans but hasn’t disclosed anything to the 10-month girlfriend. What to do? Does he really want to move forward with his polyamory with S or is he just using the 10-month girlfriend as an excuse to keep things on hold or secret until he sees how things shake out?
- Insist on honestly for all parties involved It’s the rare relationship that can build a foundation on a lack of honesty. Currently she is the target, but what if there is something he’s afraid to discuss with you later on? There is no excuse for a lack of honesty.
- Insist he own his shit The point of a vee has an additional duty to be aware of the needs of the two other parties, and he is failing at that. He really needs to own his shit, face it, and get honest with both you and her about what he is afraid of and what he really wants. Even if he doesn’t know what he wants, this conversation simply must happen with you, him and her.
- You can be honest If he won’t talk to her, you can be the brave one. You can talk to her honestly about what you want, even if it seems confrontational. You can step up and have the integrity that he doesn’t have and tell her what you want for yourself, with the understanding that just because you want it doesn’t mean you’ll get it (and the same is true for her desires, but isn’t it better that you hear them directly from her?).
15:30 Happy Poly Moment
- Rowan shares a happy poly moment about having the bravery to hear about a metamour she didn’t she she was brave enough to hear about
- Kris shares a happy poly moment about a sectional couch!
- Benny shares a happy poly moment about meeting his boyfriend’s wife
Thanks to John for the fun $69 donation!
24:30 Wrap up
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