Hoorah to the ever-fabulous and sexy Rachel Kramer Bussel for writing a fun little exploration into polyamory in The Case for Open Relationships.

Know what I like about this article? She doesn’t come across as dissing monogamy at all. She says, “for many people, monogamy works just fine” and “if you are in a monogamous relationship, I encourage you to stay within the rules of your relationship, or speak to your partner, rather than simply cheat.” But she also quotes Betty Dodson (and how jealous am I that Rachel got to meet her!) as saying, “America practices serial monogamy with cheating on the side. It’s never acknowledged and it’s lied about.”

So true. If monogamy worked for everyone, then Jerry Springer wouldn’t have a talk show.

But it still always amazes me than anyone writing an article saying basically, “Hey, monogamy is fine if you like it, but here’s another option” still get ridiculously uninformed comments such as “I suppose you can make the case that sleeping around openly is preferable to swearing monogamy but cheating on the side. Well, maybe. Robbery is preferable to murder, too, I guess.”

Wha-huh? Someone needs to take a class in logic, methinks. But a lot of people did engage in some good discourse in the comments, so I encourage you to read them as well.


Commenting area

  1. Dave DuJour December 11, 2007 at 11:55 am · ·

    If monogamy worked for everyone, then Jerry Springer wouldn’t have a talk show.

    So very, very true!

  2. SweetAinsley December 14, 2007 at 4:27 am · ·

    I was quite bothered by a number of comments posted in response to Ms. Bussel’s article.

    I am deeply in love with my husband. He is my lover, my best friend, my email/blog editor, my computer tech support, my daily companion. We are like many other married couples in America. We live together, share a bed and a bank account, confide in each other, have fun with each other, can talk for hours, get each other gifts on special occasions, visit each other’s families on holidays, go on road trips and vacations together, support each other in many ways, show each other affection every day, and are deeply committed to each other.

    The fact that we have openly had sex with other people does not change any of these things. Nor does the fact that I have fallen in love with another man in addition to him. I’m confused by the folks who seem to believe that the only true measure of a marriage is sexual exclusivity. My marriage is so much more than the sex.

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